Charmian

The weather is cold, dark, dreary and rainy this time of year. As I look out my rear window I see the skeleton of a small bird that perched on the willow tree branch years ago and got its little claws stuck. It's too high to reach with my cane, and besides, if I could, I probably wouldn't do it much good at this point. It's dead! I hope it falls off soon. It's all very depressing!

* * *

I had a call last week from Bruce Anderson in Eugene, Oregon. As most of you know, he used to be the Editor of this paper, the Anderson Valley Advertiser. You might remember him. He says he already misses the Valley. Bruce said he plans to come down soon to visit. He said he's hoping to "catch up" on things with all his friends here for at least 10 minutes. Or maybe 15 minutes! I'm looking forward to it!

* * *

Well, I'm embarrased to have to admit this, but I was pulled over by the Highway Patrol last week. I was simply driving down Highway 128 from Philo to the Senior Center at my usual 20 miles per hour and darned if CHP Officer Mendoza didn't pull me over! He said I was going too slow for the circumstances, but all I was doing was being safe! I pointed out several cars speeding by to the very courteous officer, suggesting that maybe he might want to pull them over instead of me. But he only replied that they were going too fast to be caught and I, on the other hand, was easy to catch up with! After checking my driver's license and plates, the officer decided to let me go with a warning because of my age (it was on my license, but I don't tell anyone) as long as I promised to move along a little faster. Which I did! But I still think the officer should track down the real speeders, not the law abiding citizens who are just trying to be careful!

* * *

Recently returned from a trip to the South Pole is Mr. Bill Lear. He flew his own Lear Jet from the Boonville Airport down and back! Some of you may know his daughter Kristal. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but at first Kristal was named Shanda, but then her schoolmates started to tease her about that. So the ever-creative Bill made Shanda her middle name and gave her the name she now goes by. Glad to have Bill back!

* * *

This is the time of year for swimming. My childhood schoolmate, the late Myrtle Crepe, went down to the Iron Bridge swimming hole on the Navarro last week. These kinds of swimming places are fast vanishing, but Myrtle said that if you have never swam in a "swimming hole" in the river, at night, with no clothes on, screaming at the shining moon at the top of your lungs, with all your wrinkles exaggerated by the water, you have missed an exceptional opportunity! And, by the way, the water feels warmer at night! Or, I mean, that's what Myrtle said, anyway.

* * *

I was sorry to hear that Senator Chesbro has been sick and couldn't perform his state senatorial duties for the last few months. It's too bad that people as important as Senator Chesbro can be out of the office for months at a time and nobody notices. I don't know what's wrong with him, but I hope he recovers soon. He visited the Valley a few months ago, I think it was, and tossed back a few glasses of wine with Supervisor Colfax. He looked fine then.

* * *

Speaking of Senator Chesbro (I've always pronounced it Cheeeeeeese-bro!) has made me hungry! So, what's for lunch at the Senior Center tomorrow, Thursday, July 29th? It's garlic bread, rice, french fries and cheese! And cheese for dessert! (The menu says it's low carbs, but I don't know anything about that.) On Tuesday, August 3rd, it will be Parsnip Night! I love parsnips! Accompanying the parsnips will be raw potatoes, cheese, sautéd grass clippings and onion-apple aspic! And garlic jello for dessert! The $4 donation for Seniors and $5 for non-Seniors includes the beverages: Sulfuric acid, Drano, Pruno, Everclear, and Duckhorn Goldeneye wine! Everyone is welcome!

* * *

The Recipe of the Week this week is Marshmallow Cake! This recipe comes from the back of a Safeway marshmallow bag I've been saving since 1954.

Open 1 bag of marshmallows. Pour the marshmallows out neatly on a pre-floured cutting board and sort of smash them down with a rolling pin as flat as you can. (If they bounce back up use a claw hammer.) Arrange the flattened marshmallows on the bottom of a 9x13 baking dish and cover with several cups of sifted flour. Add 1 tsp salt, 1 tbls baking powder, and 1 jigger of Hot Damn! Cinnamon Schnappes. Drizzle 1 cup of lukewarm water over the mixture until soaked through. Do not over-moisten. Bake at 350° for 35 minutes or until the marshmallows on the bottom are golden brown. Delicious! Serves 2.

* * *

Now for the Weakly Words of Wisdom!

1. Life is like a toe-nail, you never know when you're going to be cut off! 2. Hold onto your hats, the state legislature is in session! 3. We give advice by the bucket, but we dump it down the drain. 4. Old age is when you no longer recognize yourself in the mirror! 5. Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than a loaded shotgun!

* * *

Don MacQueen's letter last week was wonderful as usual, even though he didn't mention me. Or at least I don't think he mentioned me. In fact, I don't know if he mentioned me at all because I'm writing this before last week's paper was published! (Or maybe I'm not writing this at all.) I hope Don keeps up with his penetrating commentaries for the rest of my life. Although I don't see how he can continue to be as inspired, insightful and witty as he used to be.

* * *

Have a wonderful week! Clean the outhouse! Write a letter to somone you don't like and insult them! Open a window! Jump in a lake!

(Charmian is on vacation this week. She will be back August 11.)