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Valley People

ART KNIGHT has passed away at his home in Clearlake. The Knights lived for years in Philo. Their son Adrian and his wife Ann and family presently live in Navarro, and a daughter, Raylene, lives in Hopland. Art's devoted sister, Violet Renick, lives in Redwood Valley. Art and Violet were raised on the banks of Anderson Creek by Frank and Effie Luff, Anderson Valley's last Native American speakers.

A LITTLE AFTER 9pm Sunday night, the office scanner crackled into life with hurried talk about a young woman missing on Peachland Road. Tuesday, Fire Chief Colin Wilson said that the Anderson Valley Volunteers had indeed retrieved a cold and shaken 26-year-old woman who'd separated herself from a group of people out for a late afternoon walk. The young woman had become disoriented, and then further disoriented in the rough country of deep Indian Creek when she'd left an old logging road and struck out cross country in a misguided and perhaps panicked attempt to find her rented home. It was midnight when she was found, cold, hungry but otherwise in good health.

A READER WRITES: "The people of AV are to be commended for their efforts to keep Deputy Walker. But the proposal to layoff 3 sergeants in the Sheriffs Department would not have resulted in Walker's layoff because the first sergeants to go is Randy Johnson, and he does not have bumping rights. So, if they layoff 3 sergeants, Walker will not be laid off."

DAN KUNY stopped in Monday. Upbeat as always, Dan didn't bring much in the way of good news. His dad Fritz Kuny of Boonville is terminally ill, and he himself is still recovering from a traffic accident in Ukiah back on January 18th. "A kid driving a Volvo was texting when he ran into the back of my truck going about 40 miles an hour." Dan's still getting the kinks out of his neck, and has just resumed his strenuous workout regimen at the Anytime Gym in Ukiah. The much admired football coach said he often sees the Tevaseu Brothers, Logo and Martin at the Anytime where the T-Bros "always draw a crowd. Nobody around here has ever seen guys hit the weights like they do. I get tired just watching them."

MR AND MRS DEPUTY WALKER are back in The Valley after a five-day jaunt to New Orleans. But on his return the deputy got some bad news. His police dog has been sold to the San Francisco Police Department, meaning the Sheriff had to sell it because there wasn't the money to get deputy dog fully trained. A second dog brought to Mendocino County by the man who scouts canines suitable for police work, was slated for duty with the Hopland Tribal Police where he would have provided back-up for The Valley's very own Luis Espinoza who works for the Hopland Tribe as Luis preps for what he hopes will eventually become a resident deputy position here in Anderson Valley. But Hopland's new tribal police chief nixed the dog and Mendocino County is suddenly two dogs down.

THE OLD POST OFFICE in Ukiah ought to be saved if for no other reason than its old WPA murals, but the Post Office, or the anonymous drones who call themselves the Post Office, are intent in abandoning the graceful Westside structure because, the drones claim, it needs $780,000 in repairs, a matter of hot debate in Ukiah where knowledgeable persons retort the building is sound. Opposition to the Westside PO's destruction is running strong, but the Post Office, like the Pentagon, is relentless. When the Palace Hotel was abandoned, the last bankrupt looted it of everything from its Black Bart painting to the brass fixtures. Someone ought get those WPA murals pronto before they disappear.

BOONVILLE'S WHITE HOUSE CONNECTION. From the SF Chron of February 23rd: “Super-duper bowl: Nicola Miner and her husband, Robert Mailer Anderson, were among the close coterie of guests invited by President Obama and first lady Michelle to D.C. to watch the recent running of the Super Bowl. Anderson reports that it was fun, more relaxed than he'd imagined and 'very chill. Just like a largish Super Bowl party one might have for about 150 people. But in the most historic home in America,' the author said wryly. 'The difference being a guest list with J. Lo and Marc Anthony, Rev. Al Sharpton, Attorney General (Eric) Holder and his whole family, along with the president, the first lady and their darling, long-limbed children.' Anderson was also impressed by the O-man's knowledge of his guests as the president asked, 'So, how's the writing game going?' Obviously the prez knows how to prep. But he was spontaneously taken by Anderson's sport coat — a black Gucci horsehair number. Admiring Anderson's snazzy sartorial style, Obama admitted, 'I could never wear something like that.' Still the president asked Anderson how someone might get a jacket like that? 'So I offered to play him basketball for it. But he politely laughed me off,' he recalled. 'Luckily, I hadn't smeared it with the chicken wings and hamburgers I was eating, or the ice cream they put out for dessert.' Seems like the first lady's health program gets a Super Bowl Sunday pass.”

THE RED CROSS is offering a buncha health and safety training classes, the ones you need to help out on the Anderson Valley Ambulance, in Ukiah on March 12th. Call 577-7600 for info.

AND DAVE SEVERN told us last week that unless the AV Ambulance gets more volunteers pronto, we won't have round-the-clock coverage in the Anderson Valley. Dave himself is picking up wayyyyyy too many shifts

MS. MARTY JOHNSON, family and marriage counselor of Fort Bragg, tells us that her services are now available in Boonville on Fridays. Ms. Johnson's office is located, I believe, in the nifty little structure freshly rehabbed by Alan Douglass, Jairo Espinosa and what has seemed like a dozen more guys to the rear of the Farrer Building, Boonville. For info or appointments call 964-6164.

"A UNIVERSE of Ideas," Terry Ryder tells us, "Opening Reception Poetry Reading. Wednesday, March 9th. 4:30 p.m. – 5:30 p.m. Lauren’s Café in Boonville. Come celebrate the remarkable voices and visions captured in the poems and books created by Anderson Valley Junior High School students as part of the Poems, Papers, Prints, and Books integrated literary and visual arts project breathed into life by Arts Educator Cathleen Michaels and generously funded by Anderson Valley Arts, the Anderson Valley Education Fund, the Arts Council of Mendocino County and the Mendocino County Office of Education Get Arts in the Schools Program (GASP), with additional support from the Anderson Valley Unified School District’s arts, nutrition and prevention programs."

LAST SPRING the Sheriff’s Department posted its seniority list. Each uniformed officer was given a seniority score based on date of hire, time working for the County, time working for the department, and time working in their particular position. Seniority scores ranged from 109 to 8583. Deputy Craig Walker, for example, had a score of 515 eighth from the bottom, meaning seven people will go before he does, and also meaning the popular lawman's job is safe. For now.

DEPUTY JAMES SCOGGINS, hired in 1986, has amassed a nearly insurmountable 8583 seniority points. Nearly insurmountable.

OUR VERY OWN Deputy Keith Squires roars past Scoggins with 13727 seniority points! Hired in September of 1972 with an informal instruction to apply some serious muscle to the fun loving boys at the Boonville Lodge, Squires just might be the longest serving deputy sheriff in California, and if anyone could write the true history of the Anderson Valley it's this guy, who's been at the heart of it now for four decades.

PHYLLIS MURVINE WRITES: "Dr. Joseph Burrascano is one of the world's leading experts on diagnosing and treating Lyme disease. Come hear him discuss the newest, most effective methods for treating tick-borne illness. He will be joined in a question and answer panel of Lyme treating physicians including Drs. Eric Gordon, Ray Stricker, AzRa MaEl, Christine Green, Neil Nathan and Wayne Anderson. Cosponsored by the California Lyme Disease Association and Gordon Medical Associates. $40 per person through March 18. $45 at the door the evening of the event, which is Monday, March 21st, 5-8pm, at the Friedman Event Center, 4676 Mayette Avenue, Santa Rosa. For more information Click on the Dr. Burrascano event link."


  1. carp March 10, 2011

    Hey, where are the jokes? I was going to post them to my Facebook page.

    • Mark Scaramella March 11, 2011

      Here You Go!

      A GROUP of Willits friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. “Where’s Henry?” the others asked. “Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied. “You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?” they inquired. “A tough call,” nodded the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!”

      THE OWNER of a B&B in Little River was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from Mendo College and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?” The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

      A SENIOR CITIZEN in Philo was overheard saying, “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Philo.” When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Philo because everything happens in Philo 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.”

      THE YOUNG MAN from Westport came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup from the parking lot!” Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was?” The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

      A MAN in Yorkville had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, “I have a flat tire.” The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?” The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”

      A CHP officer pulled over a pickup with Alabama plates on Highway 101. The officer asked, “Got any ID?” The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

      THE DEPUTY pulled up next to the guy unloading gar¬bage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Deputy asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.” “Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage’.”

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