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Valley People

THE LONG ANTICIPATED opening of Buckhorn, Boonville, occurs Wednesday night with "a soft opening," meaning a kind of trial run for invited guests. Then, the very next night, St. Patrick's day, Tom Towey and Crew throw open their doors to the rest of us.

A COUPLE of scammers were in town last week, arriving at Alicia's Restaurant about 5:30pm where they introduced themselves as "health inspectors" and said they could take cash if they found any violations. When Alicia asked for more identification than the none the two 30-something white guys had provided, they quickly left her premises. Either them or another scammer had also called Lemons Market with a vague promise to stop by Philo for a health inspection but had failed to appear. Two years ago in Sonoma County an equivalent swindle had bilked a couple of mom and pop restaurants into paying for bogus violations on the spot. Mendocino County's health inspectors are assigned specific routes and are known by the businesses they inspect, the department's spokesman explained Monday, "But we'll be getting out a press release about it being tried out up here."

A BOONVILLE PARENT WRITES: "We had a great old-fashioned banquet for basketball last Thursday night. It was potluck of course but it was so nice to have an evening that all of the families could get together and celebrate the season. Martin Tevaseu (a professional football player with the New York Jets) was a guest of honor. Athletic Director, Robert Pinoli, officially retired Martin's AV jersey number in honor of his achievements. Martin gave a very touching speech to our young athletes about setting goals for yourself and that the 'sky is the limit.' The kids all presented their coaches with gifts in thanks. It was just a really great night. Hopefully this will start a trend. I remember this being a very special night when I was in school and I don't think times have changed that much. In this world of negativity, how can an evening of all positive things be that bad? The school has been cramming in an awards assembly during the middle of the day for several years now, which in my opinion is just lazy. When questioned, their position is that of course parents are welcome but the problem is that they are not usually told about it and it's held during school hours when most parents are working. Gotta love it."

DOUG ROYCROFT is very pleased to see the new Caltrans signs on the approaches to Gowan's Oak Stand. The Albion man was badly injured at  the big S curve at Gowan's three months ago and has clamored for warning signs ever since. "It's a cheap fix to a problem that put me in hospital for 49 days and has caused the deaths of valued members of the community over the years.  Ask the Ambulance crew."

PAULLEN SEVERN-WALSH of Navarro says he wasn't trespassing when he was riding his motorcycle on Mendocino Redwood Company land a couple of months ago. He has pleaded not guilty and will take his case to a jury at Ten Mile Court, Fort Bragg, April 27.

MARY PAT PALMER'S always intriguing Philo School of Herbal Energetics, announces "The Heart of Herbology, a 7 month plant based apprenticeship begins March 19th and meets the 3rd weekend of each month through September (Seed Planting Through Harvest). Organ systems, tissue states and plant spirit journeys taught as well. Located on 16 acres of enchanted Mendocino County land near Navarro 10 miles in from the Pacific, with over 200 species of medicinal herbs in the organic gardens. Orchards, redwoods and a 98% solar exposure watch over the gardens, 2 leggeds and 4 leggeds. or call 895-3007 or email for more info. The closer one is to the world of nature, the closer one is to the divine."

AND EVEN the less cosmically ambitious will sure as heck feel better at the conclusion of Mary Pat's course, maybe even as good as I felt after a glass of Mary Pat's incomparable elixer, Navarro absinthe.

BAD CHECKS are not unknown in the bucolic Anderson Valley, and I hope that Boonville store owner who showed me a bad one for $400 isn't too disappointed when he learns that the Sheriff's Department merely passes the bad news along to the DA's office where the old DA just as blithely hands the recipient of the bad paper a pamphlet advising him and her on how to spot a paper hanger, of whom there will be many when they figure out they can write bad checks with impunity. The guy who wrote the bad check for $400 has been passing bad paper around here for a year now, going so far as to stiff your beloved community newspaper for a couple of hundred bucks for a business ad he never paid for. Your beloved community newspaper got beat in 2010 for a total of $3,000 in unpaid bills and, in a deteriorating economy, expects to get beat for at least that much in 2011.

THAT TV CREW in town last week was from public television's top-ranked Frontline series. Some time late in April you will see Sheriff Allman, a media natural, on national tv, and not the Sheriff's first national appearance either. Marijuana keeps him front and center on a regular basis.

A WONDERFUL TIME was had by all ages at the big St. Patrick's Day Dinner and Dance to benefit the Senior Center with music provided by the one and only Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys last Saturday evening at the Fairgrounds. A greatly enjoyed Irish-style corned beef dinner was prepared by honorable Irishman, Joe O'Hansen. (Among the “Irish” Seniors were the Basehores pictured above.) The Senior Center organizers would love to see more folks come out for these traditional community fundraisers. They are the heart and history of the valley.

TERRY RYDER REMINDS US: "Science lovers and science education boosters this week brings two days of opportunity to view and absorb science projects (some of which are always amazing) at the Elementary School Science Fair. Thursday the fair is open 9-5 in the school cafeteria and community judges will be viewing projects and interviewing students about their work all day. If you visit Friday 9-3 you will be able to see who the prize winners are as they will be posted. Fourth Grade teacher Vickie Brock who is the hard working coordinator will be on hand to answer questions."

TOMMY BROWN and the Smokin' Mirrors will rock the house at Lauren's Café in Boonville as a benefit for the Navarro River Resource Center on Saturday March 26th from 9pm to Midnight. $10 cover at the door. (Lauren’s serves dinner from 5-9pm prior to the Dance-Benefit. We hope you'll come out to do your part to help cut the rug on the dance floor and support the River Center at the same time. Silent auction. Proceeds support the River Center and the Connecting to Creeks program at the AV Schools. We look forward to seeing you on the dance floor! For more info called 895-3230 or go to Best Fishes! (—Linda MacElwee)

THE ELEMENTARY TEACHER started a new job at a school in Dallas, Texas and tried to make a good impression on her first day. She explained to her class that she's a Cowboys fan. She asked the class to raise their hands if they too are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raised their hand except one little girl. The teacher looked at the girl with surprise and said: “Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?” “Because I'm NOT a Cowboys fan,” Mary replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked: “Well, if you're not a Cowboys fan, then whom do you support?” “I'm a 49ers fan, and proud of it,” Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears! “Well, Mary, might you explain why are you a 49ers fan?” “Because my mom and dad are from San Francisco and my mom is a 49ers fan and my dad is a 49ers fan, so I'm a Niner fan too!” “Well,” said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, “that's no reason for you to be a 49ers fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and a car thief, what would you be then?” Mary said, “I'd be a Raiders fan.”

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