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Bird’s Eye View

Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. Well it’s actually going to happen — The Buckhorn, Boonville will finally be opening it’s doors tomorrow evening, Thursday, March 17th! St. Patrick’s Day. Owner Tom Towey has persevered and fought through the ridiculous red tape and mind-boggling bureaucracy of Mendocino County over the last six months in order to open a pub/restaurant. One would like to think the local government would try to help such endeavors instead of doing their best to prevent such small businesses opening and being successful. It’s actually quite disgraceful what has happened, but now that the bastards have finally been beaten down, a new and much needed and anticipated establishment, that will certainly add to the enjoyment of an afternoon or evening out in Boonville, is going to open.

Twenty-plus local people will be employed, the menu is new and exciting (including pizza), the beer and wine selection is second to none in the county, and the place looks great! It will hopefully be a wonderful success and provide the community with something it has needed for a long time — a fine drinking and eating establishment for spending time with family and friends. For your Quote of the Week, I feel it is perfectly appropriate to give you the wise words of the British social commentator and writer, Samuel Johnson (1709-1784): “Nothing has been yet contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn.” I would venture to say that this is as true today as on the occasion he originally made this very astute observation.

With the new pub opening on St. Patrick’s Day, I am informed that the menu will have a Corned beef special and the usual fixings as a first night special. With a pint of Guinness to wash those goodies down I shall most certainly be there. Hopefully many of you will be too. Meanwhile, here’s a bit of Irish logic to contemplate as you toast a ‘Happy St. Patrick’s to one and all.’ These are the thoughtful words of Irish ‘philosopher’ Brian O'Rourke who sagely observed, “When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!”

Hopefully any such indulgences will not lead to any-thing like a heart attack. However, in case it does, a concerned reader wishes to pass on this latest scientific information about heart attacks and the use of aspirin in such an event. “Keep aspirin by your bedside, in your pocket, in your car. There are other symptoms of a heart attack besides the pain on the left arm. One may also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating; however these symptoms may occur less frequently. There may be no pain in the chest during a heart attack. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep. If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water. Immediately call 911 and say “heart attack — I have taken two aspirins!” Then phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by and ask them to come over; meanwhile take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door and wait for their arrival — DO NOT lie down.” Now you know.

Public Service Announcements. #30: The Winter Market continues on Saturday mornings on the porch at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville. Featuring foods and crafts, the market runs from 10.30am to 1pm. #31: One for your calendar in a couple of weeks time: it’s the first annual PawFest! This very special event will benefit the marvelous Anderson Valley Animal Rescue and is to take place at the beautiful venue of the Brewery Park at the AV Brewing Company alongside their facility on the edge of town. With a chicken, tri-tip, and veggie bbq by the Lions Club, beer from the Brewery, music by the Valley’s own Peanut Butter & Jam Band, dog obedience displays, a raffle, and even a special commemorative t-shirt by famed local animal artist Paula Gray available for purchase, it sounds like a great time and it’s all for a wonderful cause. Take note — April 2nd from 2pm to 6pm. Not to be missed. Oh, and dogs on a leash are welcome too!

Moving quickly on to the main topic under discussion this past few days week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Well that would be the wonderful St. Patrick’s Dinner Dance held last Saturday at the Apple Hall in Boonville to benefit the Senior/Community Center. I was in attendance myself and, without fear of contradiction, I can say that the Corned beef dinner was very good indeed, the cakes donated for raffle prizes were outstanding, the band (‘Craig Titus and the Coyote Cowboys with guest Dean Titus’ (?)) were as good as ever, and based on the number of people dancing and enjoying a glass of beer or wine, undoubtedly a good time was had by all. With that in mind I flew over Boonville on Sunday morning and saw a small crew of volunteers/board members — Eddie and Gina Pardini, Sheri and Joe Hansen, and Patrick Ford, clearing up after this event. There was so much to do, including lots of loading and unloading of trucks in the pouring rain, as everything was put back into place at the Apple Hall and equipment, coolers, etc. were transported back to the Senior Center. The event raised over $2,000 in profits and that, in my humble opinion, is in large part thanks to the efforts of these unseen, unsung heroes of the Valley— people who volunteer their time and hard work to help improve the lives of others.

I’m outta here. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request: “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or by e-mail at

PPS. On the sheep, Grace.

PPPS. Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll? I know you’re happy that the Buckhorn is open.

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