Press "Enter" to skip to content

Letters (Aug. 21, 2019)

* * *


To the Editor:

PG&E’s shut off plans threaten the very lives of many of our most vulnerable fellow citizens.

Think of those who need oxygen to breathe, those citizens who need sleep apnea machines. My son, for one!

I heard a PG&E spokesman on the radio quoted as saying (paraphrased): We are not in the air business!

What about ordinary citizens who would experience refrigeration or air-conditioning failures, etc.?

Naomi Klein spoke of Disaster Capitalism which uses every catastrophe to advance their moneymaking schemes.

Let's use this in reverse -- that is, to invent our climate action plan. Let climate action begin!

Why couldn't the supervisors start a solar fund to put solar panels on as many roofs as possible? We could all contribute via a designated account. (Redwood Credit Union was voted best by members in Sonoma County.)

The hundred thousand dollars could be reinstated and the climate action committee could oversee the funds and the program. They could even create a program plan. The hundred thousand dollars for the climate change committee should be reinstated but not just limited to this amount.

Imagine -- independence, security and freedom from the giant, greedy, inhumane, seemingly arbitrary, irresponsible, arrogant power(ful) company that is being PG&E.

Then, on August 5, 2019, I heard on ham radio (KPFZ.) of an insidious, demonic deal between our government and PG&E which would seem to short-circuit such a plan (if I may use that phrase). I don't claim to understand it all. I'm technically illiterate. But all solar panels would be wired to also be shut down by PG&E. Hah! Furthermore, all new solar panels would have to be wired in this way! Off grid?

According to Thomas Elias, columnist, in the August 6 Ukiah Daily Journal, "Newsom himself accepted more than $200,000 from PG&E." Also, "the vast bulk of legislators … took campaign donations from PG&E in the last election."

This article also shows how a new law, AB-1054 "pushed urgently by Governor Gavin Newsom and passed by a huge majority of legislators” is a sham "to tap taxpayer financed wildfire funds in order to help PG&E pay tens of billions of dollars in claims that it anticipates from fires it helped cause."

I first smelled the stench of Newsom's smokescreen when he went to Lake County, the poorest county as well as the most fires in California. He appeared in Middletown, he departed, and he left pledging no money at all to all those most needy fire victims. "Gruesome Newsome!" (I never thought I would agree with Jerry Philbrick.)

Enough! When are we just going to say, Hell No, we refuse to continue to be passive pawns of massive corporations in collusion with "our" government?

Susan Wertheimer

Redwood Valley

PS. Mike Thompson, more compassionately, came to Lake County and commiserated, then he left giving money to the timber companies.

PPS. We have solar and were unaffected when Ukiah went dark because we are off-grid!

* * *



The idea of buying gas-powered generators for use during power outages seems like a step backward. How will this bring about change so that we don’t rely on generator power into the future? With all the advances in electronics and powerful batteries, why is PG&E not looking at additional options?

Today, there are cars able to drive hundreds of miles on battery power. There are thousands of us with solar panels on our roofs. It seems odd that we would be running a gas generator while the panels sit there charged with electricity. Can’t PG&E design a way for us to at least use these for minimal power during a blackout?

There should be more alternatives, even for emergency measures, and continued progress to eliminate the need for these measures. Gas-powered generators? Which century is this?

Matthew Glavach


* * *


Hello Carmel, 

You have reached Holy Mackerel Convent of the Yukon. Here are your assignments for the next three months.

Mop and bucket 12 toilets and garbage cans and do some laundry. Required reading: The Fountainhead, and "the Best of Philbrick."

Over 100 small towns in Mexico have the exact same problems as Boonville and Philo but "without the kvetching." Cars on a busy highway pass through town at excessive speeds. Mexicans know how to deal with these problems while gringos will find reasons why nothing can possibly be done but continued to kvetch.

Mexicans will erect a giant tope (speedbump) in the center of town where a motorist has to come to a complete stop before climbing over. This attracts Red Cross, Boy Scouts, firemen, all asking for donations not to mention vendors selling candy, fruit, corn on the cob and religious trinkets. I have seen troops of boys about six years old dressed in white costumes, white cowboy hat and a bright red neckerchiefs spaced at intervals holding signs reading "despacito" or "slow the [bleep] down." If this was proposed in Boonville we would have Scaramella writing 750 words, CHP permits, safety concerns, insurance, and child labor laws. In Mexico children dressed in white are given a baton and direct traffic at tourist venues without porta-potties. That stinks of socialism.

When John "Deep Doo-doo" Hat-Check arrived at the county seat it was obvious to the Third District supervisor that no one in county government had the least idea what to do about issues that voters were concerned about. Hat-Check thought that if adults couldn't handle the job we might as well ask schoolchildren to try to solve problems.

Which school? High school students have been disqualified because they are so obsessed with sex that they have difficulty concentrating on other subjects. We want a bourgeois community with patriotic and God-fearing students — that would be the eighth grade class in the town of Laytonville presided over by Jim Shields, OBE.

Ginger, daughter of the town drunk, and Jean-Claude, the son and grandson of the European royalty, were co-chairmen of the first inquiry: What is being done to prepare for the next big fire and earthquake?

Earthquake? Yes, it's coming any day now. Didn't you read the piece in the New Yorker by that Schultz woman?

The AVA bunker found itself lying in the dining area of the Redwood Drive In (or vice versa). The answer: Mendo que nada! The War Department (now called the Department of Defense) has ships, planes, tanks and guns waiting for the next war. 

The second Congressional District should have the country's largest RV park located on a large ranch near Laytonville to provide housing for victims of the coming fires and earthquakes. For every $10,000 spent by the military, $1 should be allocated to the north coast. Problem solved before you can say "Jack Robinson."

The next matter undertaken by the eighth-grade class was the lack of affordable housing in the Third District. Hat-Check as overseer.

First of all, owners of property that is suitable for housing were invited to list them on a public statement. A map was provided so that tour could be made for prospective buyers. Next, a woman on Willits’s A-list, Margie Handley, made an arrangement for two students, Beatrice Birdnut and Richard Woof to meet with the owners of the firm "Short Time Investments" in New York. Short Time was formerly a textile manufacturing outfit specializing in towels and washcloths. Short Time said they would be happy to finance a large housing project in the Third District as long as they could get a fast return on their money. (And as we will see, the return was much faster than they ever dreamed of.) Jat-Check’s affordable housing expositions was proposed on a nicely landscaped area on a large ranch near Laytonville. A total of 21 affordable housing units were displayed, presented by many of the world's most famous architects, builders and a few weirdos. Total costs were one half the prices in Santa Rosa and the Bay Area. When word got out, thousands of people arrived in Laytonville to see the exposition and overnight all of the suitable building sites were sold and there was no land available for some of the best examples of affordable housing in the world. When it came to economic stimulation. students noted that what works for dogs and cats will work as well for attracting people to Laytonville cwhich ould become the number one food destination in Northern California, overtaking Chez Panisse. A four level parking garage would be needed and a bypass.

Jeff Bezos would offer $2 million cash for the local newspaper. Jim Shields could replace the retiring David Brooks of the New York Times and KUGH. would be the major TV outlet and attract such luminaries as Rachel Maddow, Ralph Nader and the person Mendocino County has fallen in love with, Tom Allman. The university could compete with Cal, Stanford, Harvard and Yale for the cream of the crop. 

While Laytonville could never surpass the Friends of the Willits Library Book Sale, it could become home of the richest person in America.

Switch from gray to black ink and the AVA circulation would increase by 25% if it also becomes the first newspaper in the US to complie and print a list of residents of Mendocino County who support the assault weapons ban. 

Watch for a 60-year subscriber’s report on ten needed changes at the New Yorker.

Ralph Bostrom

North Brook Nursing Home


* * *



The sad irony of the wanton destruction of wildlands and protected wetlands and streams by Rhys Vineyards is that the wine industry has reached a plateau and will very likely begin to contract. 

To allow continued conversion of hillsides, oak woodlands and, increasingly, the coastal hills as climate disruption changes growing areas is immoral, irresponsible and economically foolhardy. The wine trade press increasingly focuses on declining sales from changing demographics and reduction in expendable income. Research “declining wine sales” on the internet and a slew of reports and presentations can be found.

Sonoma County is facing a multitude of challenges to its economy and ecosystems. It’s imperative to diversify industry, agriculture and, most importantly, maintain and expand biodiversity.

The loss of biodiversity in the monoculture of the wine industry can be stopped by a moratorium on new vineyard and winery development. For existing vineyards, there are specialty crop grants to install native plant hedgerows, and assistance from resource conservation districts and other organizations for cover cropping, planting for pollinators, restoring wildlife corridors and water management.

Get involved with your city and county planning for a say in how we all move forward.

Natasha Granoff

Santa Rosa

* * *



In reply to John Arnoldt of Fort Bragg: When I said that somebody should be hung from a light pole that was a reference to somebody who commits a horrible crime like killing a little kid. You are pretty much admitting to the fact that liberals do that. Maniac Democrats have a way of liking to hurt little people and creating dissent among the American people. So if you don't like what I said, too bad. Maybe you are guilty.

There are probably at least 20 or more left liberal Democrats who should be rounded up and taken out of politics and put into a dungeon somewhere where they get nothing but bread and water for the next three or four years. Maybe then they would learn to appreciate the freedom they have. It's sad to see how these people operate and what they think about and the things they come up with and the blame they put on President Trump. It is unbelievable. Maybe it's me, I don't know. Maybe I don't see it right.

You liberals always have an answer for everything. You answer a question with a question. You are never guilty, you are never wrong, you lie, you cheat, you steal, you are broken, you are filthy. If the truth was known that Jeffrey Epstein guy was probably murdered in his cell by somebody who didn't want the word to get out about how many liberals he represented. It's all about money. When that much money is involved anything can be done.

Hang on people, we are in for a rough ride, but I'm looking forward to it. The liberal far left Democrats have to be taken care of. I hope it happens in the near future.

God bless Donald Trump.

Jerry Philbrick


PS. On second thought, we should take these unwound liberals down to one of those holding centers at the border where all the illegal immigrants are and throw them in with all those people. That's who they love! Open borders! Criminals! I don't know why President Trump doesn't round them all up and take them down and put them in the holding centers. That would be great, wouldn't it? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I am. That's the way I feel.

PPS. Nancy Pelosi just led a contingent of taxpayers that we are paying for down to Central America to see if she could straighten things out down there. She lives in San Francisco and always flies on a private jet to New York or wherever. I don't think she has set foot on the streets in San Francisco in years. She doesn't know about all the filth and the grime and the slime and people urinating and having bowel movements right on the sidewalks. It's right in plain sight. But she is not working on her own problems in San Francisco or Los Angeles where it's even worse. 

PPPS. The San Francisco thing was caused by Gavin Newsom when he was mayor. Along with that worthless Jerry Brown. When are you people going to wake up and see that a rotten son of a bitch is running our state? We have some real dandies in California and California people just sit there and put up with it. I would like to be locked in a room with Gavin Newsom and Jerry Brown with no doors to get out for about 10 minutes, just the three of us with the lights down low. I would love that. No holds barred. Just to get even. I hope President Trump makes all the Liberal Democrats disappear in his next four years. No more sanctuary cities in the United States. One of these days this rotten Gavin Newsom, our governor, will get somebody killed or a bunch of people killed. How long will it take for people to realize that? Stand up on your hind legs like they are doing in Hong Kong. They want to get rid of the left and put in some right.

PPPPS. Have any of you noticed the smell at certain times of the day around news time when the social media is spewing their poisonous phegm? It invades your nostrils; MSNBC and CNN and CBS and ABC and NBC and the New York Times and the Washington Post. The news media are what is ruining this country because they blow things out of proportion and don't report the good stuff and they use fake news and somebody ought to run over them and stop them immediately.They don't tell you that several people have called for Gavin Newsom's recall and there are different agencies around the state trying to take the state back. Can California stand up and demand a change? This maniac Gavin Newsom is hurting the country very bad. The only way to get good news is on Fox News or One America News.

* * *



Taking Jerry Philbrick’s advice, I have been watching Fox News where I learned that President Trump now supports red flag laws to keep guns out of the hands of dangerously crazy people like Jerry Philbrick who weekly threatens to do all kinds of horrible things to liberal Democrats. Forrtunately, California already has a red flag law.

So, doing my patriotic duty, and in the interest of public safety, as a liberal Democrat I have reported Mr. Philbrick to Sheriff Allman and the wonderful deputies in his department who Jerry often and rightly praises in the hope that they do their job and take away any weapons Jerry may have before he shoots me or one of my liberal friends.

God Bless Donald Trump and his support of Red Flag laws and God Bless Jerry Philbrick for publicizing his violent intentions so that he can be disarmed before something really bad happens.

Harold Plendner


* * *


Dear AVA,

You wrote that you had that experience at the county fair. This hermaphrodite you examined when you were 12 years old — was it more male or female? How old was it and what was its name? Did it have children? The others who paid to see, were they kids, a mix, or mostly adults? Were there any women? How was it described? What exactly did it look like? Was it worth 25 cents?

Clifton Dalson

McCloud, California

ED REPLY: Not to disappoint your prurient interest in this unusual matter, Mr. Dalson, but "the viewing," as this adventure might be described, occurred many years ago and, as I recall, the authorities, such as they were in Montgomery County, Illinois, (Klan country) soon sent the entire carnival packing for its generalized moral turpitude. As a pre-pube unaware that my own apparatus would soon unleash the torrents of spring, so to speak, I should not have been admitted, immediately regretted having been admitted, and was too embarrassed to have conducted the close gyno-penile investigation you're asking for. My memory consists of a bedraggled creature in a dress perched on a kind of dais. She, it, they hiked up her, its, his, their skirts as her his whatever's manager explained, in salacious detail, what the leering crowd of rural oafs was gazing at, directing several lewd comments at me, which further embarrassed me. I think she, he, they had both repro organs, but all I wanted was outta there so I couldn't say with slam dunk certainty, Was the show worth a quarter? Your run of the mill degenerate probably thought it was a bargain, but I wasn't one. Yet. Did she, he, it have children? God, I hope not.

* * *



Sorry if my last letter was too much for drama. I'm writing you again to give you my nickname for my letter to the editor. "Memoirs from the Hebrew Hammer." I have created a real nasty scene over in a part of the jail that I'm closed by. I’m able to listen and write down people's phone numbers when they say them loud enough because I'm still in administrative segregation (ad-seg) here at the Mendocino County Sheriff Office Detention Center. Only because I bully people in all the modules here — all except A-mod. Unfortunately those guys are a little more than the Hebrew Hammer can handle. So I’ll get those guys real good now any way I can! 

My favorite though is when the Sergeant (Sergeant Knapp, female) comes through first thing in the morning and I yell and scream unseemingly rude and ungodly nasty profanities at her while two other lower-class corrections officers walk right along beside her and I know they can't do it god damn thing about it because I will sue them for anything I can. 

The Hebrew Hammer strikes again. What's a little bit of paperwork on those cops to get them fired? I mean, aren’t we all against the police? I am to the fullest. But first I'm going for the guys in A-Mod.

So please stay tuned for more drama from the Hebrew Hammer and my kosher ways.


Jacob Silverman



  1. izzy August 21, 2019

    “The Hebrew Hammer”, eh?
    Looks like The Comptche Crank may have inspired a slightly more eloquent copy-cat.

    Freedom of the press!
    Keep ‘em coming.

      • Marco McClean August 23, 2019

        Not if it’s a pickle, Pat. Thick slices, long way, of an ice-cold Kosher dill pickle on a mayo-grilled cheese sandwich, yum.

  2. Lazarus August 23, 2019

    Good on him to Ralph Bostrom; A person who sees the snobbery, the instability, and the cronyism of the Mendo lifestyles of the rich and infamous, and all with a taste of humor.
    As always,

  3. Debra Keipp August 25, 2019

    A coupla comments from this issue… Flow Kana is world wide. Big!! Could be run may major tobacco as u suggest! I do know that the formerly privately owned mj dispensory in Pt. Arena was sold to Flow Kana, a corporation… While Pt. Arena had in place a corporate personhood ordinance asking locals not to sell out to major – or minor – corporations. Remarkable that marijuana was the first to sell out to a major corporation in Pt. Arena…

  4. Debra Keipp August 25, 2019

    A coupla comments from this issue… Flow Kana is world wide. Big!! Could be run by major tobacco as u suggest! I do know that the formerly privately owned mj dispensory in Pt. Arena was sold to Flow Kana, a corporation… While Pt. Arena had in place a corporate personhood ordinance asking locals not to sell out to major – or minor – corporations. Remarkable that marijuana was the first to sell out to a major corporation in Pt. Arena… Little capitalists everywhere!!!

  5. Debra Keipp August 25, 2019

    Back packs!!! Long ago (30 yrs) schools suggested that school books would be put on computer tablets so that kids wouldnt have to carry 30 lbs of books in packs on their shoulders. So much for technological advances vs book sellers!! Today kids still carry HEAVY weighing books on their shoulders causing bone spurs in their rotator cuffs which may one day cause the need for surgical repair. Just last week I worked on a 12 yr old with two grand ‘hooks’ growing out of each shoulder bone where the back pack straps rubbed spurs which grew from each irritated area. Note to parents!?!?! Buy a suit case on rollers for your kids school haul …immediately! Spurs are painful!! – AbraKaDebra of Boonville’s Boxcar Bodywork… On the Boardwalk

  6. Debra Keipp August 25, 2019

    The mendo county fair is disintegrating every year by removal of former attractions. A sorry sight, unseen now. Soon the Mendo County Fair will be no more! This year horses will be trucked in and out on the day they show – not to be boarded at the fair grounds overnight. Parents will no longer be able to walk children over to see the horses in their stalls during fair: no horses. Times they are a changing…

  7. flynn washburne August 27, 2019

    Mr. Philbrick: Your salacious description of you and Mr. Brown and Mr. Newsome in a threesome I found distasteful and inappropriate for a family paper. Kindly keep your twisted sexual fantasies where they belong, in your demented brain.

  8. George Dorner October 6, 2019

    Good one, Flynn.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *