Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. I am writing this on the morning of the Olde Time July 4th Celebration at the Fairgrounds in Boonville. So the result of the upcoming tumultuous Tug o’ War between The Horde of High Rollers/Boonters (residents of Yorkville and Boonville) and The Rabble of Poleekos/DeepEnders (residents of Philo and Navarro) is unknown. Following The Rabble’s seven consecutive wins in this prestigious event from 2002 to 2009 (the whole Celebration was cancelled in the fire year of 2008), it was The Horde that finally won one last year and their trophy is currently proudly displayed at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville. Will it be sitting at Libby’s in Philo by Monday evening? We shall see. “Seize the rope!”
So it would be particularly appropriate with the above mentioned Tug ‘o War in mind that your Quote of the Week is one that I have used before. It comes from that wise observer of society in all its glory and shame — George Orwell, who said, “Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all the rules, and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence; in other words it is war minus the shooting.” Clearly old George attended a few Valley Tug o’ Wars in his time!
Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #416: This week’s Boonville Farmer’s Market will feature a solar cooking demonstration among the usual array of goodies that this week highlights eggs! It all happens between 9.30am and noon in the Boonville hotel parking lot. #417: The Boonville Art Walk is this coming Saturday afternoon, July 9th from 3-6pm. This will feature art from local artists at various Boonville venues and sidewalks, including the Senior Center. The Senior/Community bus will be in operating a shuttle service along Hwy 128 to get you from one place to another if all that art gets too tiring on a hot day. #418: Also on the 9th, it’s topnotch live music returning once again at The Navarro General Store on Hwy 128 in the Deep End. Things get going at 5pm with the Black Horse Blues Band and continue at 7pm with Mark Hummel’s Harmonica Blow Out. Needless to say (but I will anyway), Pablo will be doing his magic on the Grill and very reasonably priced beer and wine is available at the Store. #419: It’s the second Tuesday on July 12th and that means Dinner & Bingo Night at the Senior Center: good food, beer and wine, top quality bingo and prizes, and you don’t have to be a senior to attend! So I urge you to come along and support this event and remember: all proceeds go to our Senior/Community Center.
Now for topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts, wise and not-so-wise, about Valley life.
…Is Yorkville in Anderson Valley? Well technically ‘Yes.’ Historically the answer would be a resounding ‘Yes.’ However, geographically there are several significant hills/ravines/small valleys in between ‘them and us,’ So maybe it shouldn’t be. Furthermore, I know of several Yorkville folks who feel they are not included in the overall Valley’s mindset, some of whom are annoyed by that fact and some who are quite pleased about that situation. (To be discussed further.)
…Does the Valley Chamber of Commerce promote commerce in the Valley? ‘Yes,’ was the answer we came up with.
…And a final question that was posed by our bar-dwellers was, Does a Book Club need to serve wine at its gatherings? I personally believe to get to the heart of the book, its very essence, and its author’s intentions and message, then wine should most certainly be served. But I could be wrong, of course.
…Philo Pat swung by the Three-Dot last week and passed on this invaluable piece of information. ‘Hi, Vulture. I was at a deck party awhile back, and the mosquitoes were having a ball biting everyone. A man at the party sprayed the lawn and deck floor with Listerine, and the little demons disappeared. I filled a spray-bottle and used it around my seat whenever I saw mosquitoes. That worked as well. it killed them instantly. I bought some Listerine from Target and it cost me $1.89. It really doesn't take much, and it is a big bottle, too; so it is not as expensive as the can of Bug-spray you buy that doesn't last 30 minutes. Please pass this on.’ Thanks, Pat. I just did.
…A regular at the Three-Dot informed me of some very important news from abroad last week. German police are trying out a new weapon in the fight against crime: vultures that can find hidden corpses. Three feathered detectives — appropriately named Sherlock, Miss Marple and Columbo — are being trained in northern Germany to do this. Police are using three of my German cousins because we vultures prefer to roam big areas as a group and our keen eyesight and acute sense of smell makes us as skillful as our fictional namesakes. Furthermore, we are better than sniffer dogs at finding bodies when a large area has to be searched and the terrain is difficult. However, apparently the experiment has now raised ethical concerns because of the risk that some of us might start pecking at a dead body. Err, yes, we might, but surely there has to be some perks to the job?
Time to take my leave. With the hot weather finally with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; children too I suppose. Otherwise, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or at firstname.lastname@example.org. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan — behaving yourself? Hopefully not! PPPS. On the sheep, Grace. PPPPS. Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll? Happy 4th to each of you.