Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. Although I was unable to attend the ICW meeting last Wednesday evening (not being invited didn’t help matters), I have been reliably informed that Sheriff Deputy Craig Walker gave an interesting and informative talk to the Valley’s Independent Career Women in attendance. I’m not sure if Christine Clark was there but it should be known (and probably is) that she is Christine Clark and not Clarke as I mistakenly wrote recently. My sincere apologies to her and her forebears. It won’t happen again...
I have met and spoken with Deputy Walker on several occasions and have been impressed with his outlook on the do’s and don’ts of rural policing here in the Valley. He has attended many community events in his short time here and his presence has always been subtle and unobtrusive, with many locals offering high praise for the job he has done so far. Walker is from Berkeley and, while I would not wish our local law enforcement to be in the hands of a typical warm and fuzzy Bezerkeley-ite liberal, over zealous in his political correctness, he would appear to be different, in a good way. Let’s hope we get to keep him around. He may turn out to be the perfect choice if we require someone with an open mind and a clear sense of justice for all when it comes to the ‘protect and serve’ that the police are apparently here to do...
That leads me very nicely to the Quote of the Week, an observation that I have always enjoyed and would like to think cannot be applied to our new man on the job. It comes from the Irish poet, writer, and republican, Brendan Behan, who once said “I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn’t make it worse.” Ya gotta like a bit of Irish humor, eh, Deputy!
Before I get arrested, let’s move quickly on to Anderson Valley’s Who’s Who. This week, for your reading pleasure and wider Valley insight, I can hereby reveal the board members of The Chamber of Commerce: Secretary Glad Donohue, Leslie Hummel (All that Good Stuff), Burt Cohen (Boont Berry), Lydia Mosk, (The AV Inn), Arline Bloom, Terry McMillan, Cindy Wilder (Boonville Farmers’ Market, etc), and Mary Pat Palmer (Philo School of Herbal Energetics). Quite a crew, eh? And while I’m not exactly sure what they do, I’m sure they do it well.
Next up it’s this week’s Public Service Announcements, although this time they are just reminders of regular ‘services’ in the Valley. A quick heads up that the County Dump, a couple of miles up Mountain View Road, is open every Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday from 9am-4pm each day. Don’t forget that there is a fine feast for a very reasonable price at 12.30pm every Tuesday and Thursday at the Senior Center in Boonville. Have a chat with a Senior while enjoying a lovely meal. Surely not a bad couple of hours in anyone’s day.
The main topic of conversation this week at The Three-Dot Lounge (my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to those in the know): The regulars have been discussing the introduction of the signs that have been installed in the middle of the road on Boonville’s pedestrian crossings. From my own observations their future might not be too bright.
As I flew above Hwy 128 in the heart of Boonville the other evening I noticed someone walk across the pedestrian crossing by the Post Office, hesitate in the middle of the road next to the new sign, and then vigorously push it down to the ground. As Bruce Anderson mentioned last week in the paper, the sign is on a spring and thus it immediately bounced back into its upright position and the miscreant ran off giggling before jumping into their car and drove away. Other regulars at The Three-Dot had read Bruce’s prediction that it is only a matter of time before the signs are permanently damaged, but he envisaged it being done by a moving vehicle, not a pedestrian. This leads to the Whine of the Week. The sign is actually a very useful addition, as anyone who has tried to cross there anytime during and after dusk would know. Now oncoming traffic is left in little doubt that there is a crossing in place and pedestrians can cross safe in the knowledge that traffic is aware of them. The person I saw vandalizing the sign is a somewhat respected member of the community (who shall remain nameless) and I get the sense that he/she sees him/herself as wacky and funny. I always thought of them as quite enlightened and smart too. In this instance I would say they showed none of these qualities. It’s not funny and not clever and I would suggest they think of others and wise up. Those signs are already facing extinction from the threat of vehicles without the help of wacky pedestrians.
Following this Whine, let’s leave The Three-Dot and have a ‘quickie’ (as the Bishop said to the Actress) in the form of the Wine of the Week. It really cannot get much better after a tough day of carrion-guzzling than to sit on one’s deck overlooking the Valley vistas and slurp on some vanilla chocolate chip ice cream while sipping superb Port from Meyer Family Cellars of Yorkville. Describing it as orgasmic barely does this experience justice and I just thought you should know.
Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the hot weather still with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle. May your god go with you. One final request: “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or at email@example.com.