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Valley People

THE JOHNSON RANCH, Boonville, is located on the Boonville end of the Ukiah-Boonville Road. Gary Johnson was driving past his ranch Wednesday afternoon a little before five when he spotted a camo-clad man with a hunting bow on Johnson's side of the ranch fence. A pick-up truck was parked nearby. As Johnson stopped to observe the intruder, he saw another man, also on the trespassing side of the fence. This second man seemed to be trying to hide, but soon vaulted the fence, climbed in the pick-up and drove off. When Johnson asked the remaining trespasser what he was doing, the man said he'd jumped the fence to urinate.

JOHNSON, a life long outdoorsman who makes his way as a professional trapper, tried to keep the intruder from leaving. It was evident that both men were poachers. But the man took a swing at Johnson, ran to the truck, jumped in and the two bow hunters roared off west toward Boonville.

THE POACHER'S TRUCK is described as “a 2010 or newer silver four-door Dodge Ram with a personal license plate similar to ‘SLRCLR’.” The man who took a swing at Johnson was described as a white man in his mid-20s, brown hair, 5-foot-9, about 180 pounds. The driver of the pickup was described a mustachioed white man, mid-20s.

DEPUTY CRAIG WALKER brings a systematic relentlessness to his investigations. He was immediately on the case and, by Monday, had traced the truck to Lake County. As of Tuesday, it was simply a matter of rounding up the two camo yobbos.

CHRYS SAGRADA reminds us that “the warm summer weather has brought us more variety of vegetables such as tomatoes and peppers at the Boonville Farmers' Market. Pam from Blue Meadow has also joined us with her awesome produce. This coming Saturday, join PJ Nielson and Linda Filer Wiley as they hold our first ever blackberry tasting. Please join us this Saturday from 10am-12:30 pm at the Boonville Hotel. Eat and support local!”

TO CLARIFY the DA's gun policy. Anybody caught with an automatic weapon can kiss it goodbye. A few people thought a Mountain View Road guy who got arrested for cultivation should have had his guns taken, too. They would have been if they were illegal but they weren't.

TERRY RYDER is absolutely mortified that she forgot to mention three pivotal persons essential to bringing off the Kristofferson-Bottrell fundraiser for Hendy Woods. They are? The envelope, please: Margaret Pickens; Monica Fuchs; Joe Petelle. Joe and Monica handled publicity, Margaret brought off the party at the Mendocino Hotel for the expensive seats in addition to making sure the booze got to the bars. These logistics aren't easy, but these logisticians made them look easy.

YARD SALE! YARD SALE! The Anderson Valley Youth Football Cheerleaders are organizing a yard sale to raise money to buy new uniforms! Date: JULY 28th Time: 10am to 3pm Location: 7575 Hwy 128, Philo. The organizers need donations for the sale! If you have anything in good condition such as TOYS, CLOTHES, FURNITURE, TOOLS, etc. that you would like to donate to the yard sale please call Alisha at 895-2188. 100% of the money raised will go directly to the girls uniforms.

AIRPORT MANAGER KIRK WILDER WRITES: “You are invited to the 13th annual Boonville Aviation Knowledge and Folklore Convention (aka Airport) Day and Potluck Dinner Saturday August 11, 2012. Festivities begin at Noon. Potluck dinner at 5pm. Please bring your favorite potluck dish. Drinks provided. Corner of Estate Drive & Airport Road At the Boonville Airport. No RSVP necessary. For additional info contact Cindy or Kirk at (707) 895-2949. Join us for a fun day at the Airport.”

STILL TRYING to find out who won the recent Boonville Bike Race, a big sports event anywhere but especially for us rubes here in Boomsville. It's like the Giants coming to town to play Antonio Soto's Boonville All Stars. Well, something like that. The big bike race featured some ranked cyclists, but nobody seems to know who from what, and the bike websites are non-responsive. From what I can gather, about 60 ace cyclists, men and women, set out from Faulkner Park, pedaled out to Manchester, north to Elk, east on Greenwood Road, through Philo and back to Boonville — and here's where the cream separated from the — back up Manchester Road, past the Boonville Dump to the finish line at Faulkner Park. Wow. Double wow. And they did it in about three hours! But who won and exactly how fast these remarkable athletes accomplished this amazing feat remains a kind of two-wheeled secret.

KELLI ADAMS of Boonville and Ukiah didn't show up the other day for her jury trial on drug related charges, which doubles her troubles. Known her since she was a little kid, and always liked Kelli for her enthusiasm and all-round geniality. She's got to know we're all pulling for her.

IN THE WAKE of the State Parks scandal — Parks suddenly “found” $54 million after announcing most parks around the state would have to close or be raffled off to private entrepreneurs for lack of money — we learn that Alan Olmstead, one of many persons to step forward to raise money to keep the parks open, sent a check for $9,500 to help keep open the gates at Mendocino County's Jug Handle State Natural Reserve. Olmstead had distributed 60 donation buckets around Northern California to collect donations and had sent the $9,500 from them to State Parks. But the State didn't cash the check raised for Jug Handle. And the State didn't cash another $3,000 raised to keep open Greenwood State Beach near Elk. Where are these specific amounts for two specific Mendocino County parks? No one seems to know.

BUT WHAT LOTS of people do know, having learned the hard way that State Parks seems to be a criminally inclined enterprise at its top management level who just happen to have misplaced$54 million, is that Governor Brown is going to have an even harder time getting his tax initiative passed, the one that says, basically, that there's plenty of money to fund a high speed train that might run between SF and LA in thirty years but not enough to fund Parks and any number of programs benefiting the destitute.

FRANKLIN GRAHAM, a part-time resident of Navarro, puts the whole State Parks fiasco, which, according to Franklin is still in motion, in perspective in this week's paper. He'll be back next week with another “smoking gun.”

DID YOU KNOW that Catch-A-Canoe Big River offers wide-beamed canoes so you can take Rover with you up stream? You know now.

A READER WRITES regarding that ambulance call last week deep in the hills of Nash Mill Road: “You say 'an 18 year old male was unconscious and non-responsive.' The 81 year old who smoked a powerful joint and was then 'unconscious and non-responsive' got big kick out of seeing himself referred to as a youth. He's fine now.”

FROM OUR SPIFFY suite of offices in the Farrer Building high above downtown Boonville, at the sound of sirens in the street below we scurry to the scanner, snap it on, and glean from its crackling transmissions what information we can. That 81 sounded here like 18. And the Yorkville episode, as we learned days later, involved only a wheeze, not a geeze and a wheeze. Although it was a two-party mishap only one person was over the age of 70. The other was still on the sunny side of 50. Hey! We do the best we can on short turnaround.

LITTLE TIAJUANITA, as it's called, the pre-War motel on Anderson Valley Way converted to farmworker housing, has been the focus of much police attention lately because someone or someones living there is dealing methamphetamine which, at this point, is like someone selling cholera. Worse, come to think. Cholera you infect and die. Crank you infect and make a whole community sick.

AND ANOTHER READER COMMENTS: “Twice recently I was at the scene of medical emergencies responded to by local volunteers. Our community is blessed to have such dedicated folks who have worked hard to get life saving skills which they generously share. Supporting our Anderson Valley Ambulance Service not only gives one personal insurance it also supports a valuable community resource.”

NOT TO BE TOO MUCH of a reverse sexist about it, but it seems to me that the everyday hassles of modern life are invariably straightened out by a woman. I can't think of the last time a man resolved anything for me. Friends of mine are always saying stuff like, “Well, look at you, Bruce. Without Ling you'd be sleeping in doorways.” I think I could manage a tent, thank you, but you have a point. But my point is broader. Internet prob? A woman at Pacific Internet fixes it immediately. Prose prob? Two women write in to correct it. Book layout? Torrey Douglas makes it look easy. About once a month, several bags of the AVA go missing for a few days. Or a week. One time they disappeared altogether. Readers call up, write in to complain, everyone's unhappy. We've had the disappearing prob for several years now, and not once ever has it been the fault of the women associated with the Boonville Post Office or Jan the Mail Lady. (I've written Jan in for elective office a bunch of times.) So, with the disappearing papers reoccurring more and more often, Collette at the Boonville P.O. put me in touch with a Post Office lady at the big distribution center in Petaluma — a real, live person who even gave me her direct telephone line. “If your papers don't get to San Francisco by Thursday you call me and I'm on it.” And Cathy Rutledge is on it. The papers might be one day late, but Cathy tracks down the missing bags and presto! a million readers, questing for The Truth are saved.

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