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Now You See Her, Now You Don’t

It's just about impossible to find a nice healthy attractive woman these days, although there seem to be many angry addicted ones available. When you get to be an older man that is the normal situation.

I guess I could take a look within and see if my imperfections are glaring. Am I really crazy or just humorously eccentric? Does being flawed myself make it not easy to accept others' flaws when in an intimate relationship?

I met a very sexy woman last year who had lots of issues and baggage. Her father had been a gangster who she said had sex with her. Her mother was a rotten bitch who shot their father in front of them when she and her sister were little kids. She was recruited to fly drugs across the country when she was fourteen and when busted at eighteen spent two years in prison.

When I met her she had just gotten out of a shelter for battered women after her last boyfriend had beaten her to the extent she thought she would be killed and she needed shoulder surgery to repair the damage. Is it any surprise she gulped strong coffee all day, smoked weed constantly, and guzzled beer and wine when she had the opportunity?

Other than all that she was a sweet sexy goddess.

It was pretty nice when she worked all day then drove across a mountain range a half hour to my place for dinner. We slept together, had breakfast, and off she went to work. Then she lost her job after two weeks, moved in, and I began to feel the pressure.

She started to pack with each discordant note and left in tears every week after each argument, but always returned. She finally drove off to the eclipse and didn't come back.

A year later I got an email saying she wanted to come visit and spend some time with me. (When I met her I hadn't been with a woman for way too long and doubted if I ever would again.)

So I ask myself what I could do differently this time to be able to keep her? She probably needs lots of therapy and I could help her through that. Do I start discussing her and my issues when she gets back or just play it by ear and mouth and tongue and …


  1. vm November 16, 2021

    Not that I am actively looking, but it’s just about impossible to find a nice healthy attractive man these days… in this town in particular… Maybe I’m not going to the right places lol…

    • Paul Modic November 17, 2021

      I tend to find it amusing when two people meet or regard each other and both think they can do better. Probably why there’s so many single solitary people around: the internet can keep them company, without the aggravation of interpersonal chaos.

      • Marco McClean November 18, 2021

        About two people regarding each other and each thinking he can do better: Christine Lavin – Trading Up:

  2. Lazarus November 16, 2021

    I think you find your comfort where you can…
    As always,

  3. Pat Kittle November 17, 2021

    “Does being flawed myself make it not easy to accept others’ flaws when in an intimate relationship?”

    “Flawed” covers a lot of territory.

  4. Paul Modic November 20, 2021

    (And this is the poem/ballad version)

    Summer Surprise
    It’s not so easy finding a healthy woman today
    although the drunk crazy addicts are ready to play
    The last one had just gotten out of a shelter
    looking for peace and a man who won’t belt her
    My friend set us up and it was hard to believe
    here was this shining goddess right beside me
    Our host said don’t be yourself and it’ll be fine
    can’t you just be cool for the very first time?
    I gave her my card which she tucked in her brassiere
    that was a flirty message which was very clear
    When the tasty dinner was done we glided out the door
    into the parking lot where the flying squirrels soared
    I held the tall hippie mamma’s body close
    and she said the sweet words I’d been longing for most
    “Would you like to stop by for a cuppa tea?”
    I couldn’t believe this was happening to me!
    I followed her down the mountain to her sweet little home
    we smoked kissed and cuddled and my hungry hands roamed
    We sat on the couch, talked for hours about life
    when we were tired she invited me for the night
    For the first couple weeks she was delightfully mine
    this sweetheart survivor liked it anywhere anytime
    We made out constantly on the couch every day
    then into the bedroom where we got naked to play
    She liked me to undress her, the impulse sublime
    I hung her bra and panties on me like fruit on a vine
    She chirped, squealed, screamed and bucked when she came
    I almost lost a couple teeth with this exuberant flame
    It was very exciting to watch her climaxing
    I found out how she liked it by frankly asking
    I covered the basics in my thirst for connection
    higher? lower? faster? slower? was my sex education
    I felt like a sex god and gave her lustful pleasures
    those hot summer scenes were erotic treasures
    With her ecstatic multiples feeling so god-given
    her smiles said some E D was quickly forgiven
    In private my cuddling was a thing to behold
    but when shy in public she said I was going cold
    She chain-smoked weed, drank strong coffee all day
    when there was beer or wine she guzzled without delay
    Her rotten mom shot their father in front of the kids
    later the gangster raped her and that’s how she lived
    At fourteen she flew with drugs and her bank account grew
    four years later she was locked up in prison for two
    She came west to trim weed and then stayed to grow
    and finally hauled loads of great smoke to Ohio
    When she lost her job and cabin I invited her in
    the pressure was mounting when we were living in sin
    Let’s talk about the future she sometimes said
    we just met, can’t we enjoy ourselves instead?
    With any slight conflict she lost it and packed
    and drove away each week but always came back
    She disrupted my routine and made me wonder
    I asked her for some space and that was a blunder
    She felt rejected out in the guest house that night
    and appeared in the morning still very uptight
    With her frantic mood changes the question I asked
    would I rather have peace at home or piece of ass?
    She said she loved me and drove off to the eclipse
    life is tranquil now but that darling is missed

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