Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably I shall begin. What better place to start than to announce that it gives me great pleasure to announce Hummingbird’s birthday tomorrow (Thursday, Oct 18th). (I should just perhaps mention that, if I failed to do so, she had threatened to remove my claws one by one with some pliers. This would not only be very painful but would also result in me being unable to eat any carrion. In other words, it was a death threat). But I digress. She’s a wonderful creature. “Many, many happy returns, my little piranha fish!”
And with birthdays in mind, let’s take that word a little more literally and talk about Days of our Birth for your Quotes of the Week. A couple of the more somber views. This comes from the English poet Edward Young (1681 — 1765): “Our birth is nothing but our death begun.” True, but let’s try to be a little more positive, Ted. How about this dose of reality from none other than The Bible, 1 Timothy, Chapter 6, Verse 7, “We brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.” That’s all very well, but let’s look on the brighter side with Gracie Allen (1895-1964) the American comedienne who became internationally famous as the zany partner and comic foil of husband George Burns, who wittily remarked, “When I was born I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half!” And, perhaps inevitably, let’s leave it to the Bard himself, William Shakespeare (1564-1616), widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language to call it exactly as it most likely is, “When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools.”
Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #369. The final Guest Chef Dinner of the year, benefiting the AV Senior Center, is this Friday, Oct 19, when the Guest Chef(s) will be the AV Brewery’s Fal Allen and friends. Fal will serve Wild Pork Sausage, Beer-steeped Sauerkraut, German-style Warm Potato Salad with bacon and onions, and for dessert it’s German Chocolate Cake made by Fraulein Loretta Houckuchen. This event will sell out but at the time of writing there are still a few tickets remaining. Call 895-3609 for details. #370. It’s that time of year again! The U-Pick Pumpkins and Wagon Rides will be at Gowan’s Oak Tree and Fruit Stand for a second and final weekend, 11-4 on Saturday and Sunday, Oct 20/2. #369. The Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Farm Supply in the Valley once again this month, on Thursday, Oct 25 from 2-3.30pm. #370 — KZYX Pledge Drive is from Oct 20-28. Please give generously. #371. It’s your best opportunity to get rid of all that ‘nasty stuff’ that you don’t want around your property all winter. The HazMat people are in town at the Fairgrounds parking lot from 9am to 1pm on Fri/Sat, Oct 26/27. Call 895-3011 if you have any questions about what’s accepted. #371. It’s the final two weeks for you to visit, enjoy, and perhaps even purchase some of the splendid local art/crafts of talented Valley folks before they close their exhibitions at the end of October — the excellent wire sculptures by Ismael Sanchez currently on display at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville, while down the street at Mosswood Market, it’s the fine paintings of AV High grad Celestino Jimenez.
Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…As always, Homecoming was a weekend enjoyed by many Valley folks, not the least of them being a few of our regulars at the 3-Dot. Even though both the soccer and football teams lost, they each gave good accounts of themselves against very good opposition and there were many justifiably proud Panthers on the streets of Boonville on Friday evening.
…Talking of the Streets of Boonville, many of you will no doubt be pleased to hear that Deputy Craig Walker is once again patrolling those avenues and alleyways now that he has returned from an intensive training course along with ‘our’ Valley police dog, Argus. I came across them both in the Deep End on Sunday afternoon and was assured that their training had gone very well, their relationship was developing extremely successfully, and that the ‘bad guys’ had better beware — the ‘wild west’ was going to have to revert to the ‘mild west’ once again.
…Many locals are expressing their approval of the fine job being done at the property owned by Erin Weintraub and Anne Bennett alongside the downtown Boonville firehouse. A couple of new small businesses have been there for some time and a couple more are soon to arrive in the appropriately named ‘SoBo district’ (South Boonville).
…A wonderful time was had by all at the first Annual (?) Hendy Woods Jamboree held last Saturday at the campgrounds’ visitor center among those majestic trees. With a bountiful pot luck and enjoyable sing-a-long around the campfire, it was a very fitting end to a successful year’s work by so many folks in their efforts to keep this most special of places open to the public. On behalf of the community-at-large, may I pass on the deep gratitude that has been expressed to all the volunteers, led by Kathy Bailey, and on this occasion Janet Anderson and Deanna Apfel, for their hard work and selfless dedication in achieving this most important of goals.
…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series — ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “If the reliable rumors prove to be correct, the CHP officer, of whom it has long been believed had a habit of writing unwarranted/false tickets, particularly on the coast but also around here on occasion, may finally be receiving some come-uppance having been caught on film giving a seatbelt ticket to an innocent party. Unfortunately, this fact may not be shocking to us, a ‘bad cop’ not being the most disturbing thing you will read about in today’s newspaper, and that very fact that this does not surprise but merely disappoints us, is in itself yet another sign that the Apocalypse is getting closer all the time.”
Time to take my leave. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; with yet another warm front on its way, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you. A final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. You can contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at firstname.lastname@example.org. PPS. On the sheep, Grace. PPPS. Skylark — enjoy your discussion and dinner this evening!