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Valley People

THE COUNTY'S NUMBERS regarding the true state of finances at the Boonville Fairgrounds are misleading, not intentionally misleading, but misleading. The Fair is not sitting on $1.5 mil in reserves. Calculated another way, the money available way, the true figure is much less. Donors and everyone else who want to make sure the Boonville Fair survives shouldn't get the idea the Fair is flush because it isn't.

WHAT'S THE DEAL with the Point Arena basketball team? Very bad behavior in Mendocino where the PA boys were called for flagrantly deliberate fouls, which should get you kicked out of the game, and several technical fouls, which should also get you benched. The PA coach, Warren Galletti, who is also PA's high school principal looks on benignly while his players do and say whatever they want. The other night here in Boonville, one PA kid called Coach Galletti a “bitch.” And got away with it. Even fogbelt sports fans are wondering how outta control their basketball teams can get before the league steps in with serious sanctions.

BARBARA GOODELL writes: “Its time to sign up if you want to volunteer a one (or more) hour shift at the 30th annual Grafting Workshop/Seed & Scion Exchange on Saturday, February 2nd at the Fairgrounds in Boonville! We need to: set up scions on Friday afternoon, and then on Saturday to set up signs, etc. (8-9), sit at the Welcome Table (8:30-4), do rootstock sales (9-4), and clean up (4-5). No prior experience is necessary for any of these shifts and your help is much appreciated. Please call Barbara at 895-3897 or email”

HORROR in the hills, the west hills off Greenwood where a horse got spooked by a dog, ran away with the cart it was pulling that carried two persons who were forced to jump clear before the horse and the cart went over the side and down the hill from where the horse could not be extracted and had to be shot.

OOPS. Jerry Cox says Anderson Valley's Catholic Community remains “very far from having enough funds to begin construction” of their new church. “If the community, along with our new pastor Sean Rogers, receives the green light to begin a capital campaign from Bishop Robert Vasa, they can start planning.” Go, Mother Seton!

NOTE TO GORDY BLACK, classical music maestro at KZYX: One of your most devoted listeners would be even more delighted with your weekly show if you'd play more Berlioz, particularly March to the Gallows. Announce it as, “And this goes out to Dolores…”

WHERE'S THE SHERIFF'S LOG? Where are the miscreants? No miscreants, no log. Deputy Walker has things so thoroughly under control there have only been a few 911 calls from The Valley this past month, and them not worth reporting on.

ANY RENTALS out there? Lisa Kuny and her well-behaved children are looking for a place in the Yorkville area. If you've got something you can leave a message with us at 895-3016.Too many wannabe gang bangers in Ukiah, Lisa says, and she rightly wants to keep her kids away from them.

THAT “FORUM” last night (Tuesday) at the high school was called to discuss a huge grant of some $690,000 recently drifting into the Valley from the estate of a woman who wanted to see young people up on their feet and physically active, having noted over her long life that young people were becoming fatter and dumber. But if the school people get their hooks into it the money will be frittered away on giant earth balls and fagged out old hippies calling themselves exercise facilitators and more concrete for the Elementary School, for god's sake. (The money will be doled out in several installments, by the way, but any time a big pot of cash, however noble its intended purposes, the buzzards from the non-profit-school complex immediately begin circling.)

BUT ACCORDING to Donna Pierson Pugh the “forum” was focused on “increasing the assets and resources for our students and community. Many of these projects have been initiated by community members or students and most will benefit the schools as well as the community. This is an opportunity to promote these positive things happening in our valley that will benefit us all. Some of the projects include a weight room on AVHS campus, resurfacing the basketball courts at the HS, use the Methodist Church as a rec center, a track and par course between the health center and the HS, resurfacing the ES playground, local food promotion and other ideas that people will bring!”

SO, MR. NEGATIVE, what do you suggest? Thank you for asking. I say remove the pews, but certainly not the Pughs, from the Boonville Methodist Church and convert it to a rec center and weight room with Logo and Madeline in charge. Why them? Because they keep themselves fit and younger people admire them and will want to emulate their commitment to healthy ways of living. The grant money was not intended to go to schools. (By the way, have you ever seen a child voluntarily at play on a concrete schoolyard?)

BUMPER STICKER spotted in Yorkville: “4 out of 3 people have problems with fractions.” (And 82.3% of statistics are made up on the spot.)

LARGE, FREE-STANDING octagonal wooden conference table, in several large pieces. Slotted and easy to assemble. Excellent condition. Suitable for large conference room. (Or parts could be used for a large corner desk.) Free for the taking. (Would require large pick-up truck or equivalent.) Call Johnny Schmitt at the Boonville Hotel, 895-2210.

OK, I'M the very last guy to pass out advice on community relations. But. But it seems to me if you're unhappy with the service at a Valley restaurant, and you live here, why not either talk to the owners of the restaurant or write them a note about why you're unhappy. Going on Yelp or FaceBook to rip your neighbors is excessive and unfair, and downright unhinged in those comments that I saw. Would your beloved community newspaper print this stuff? If they were signed, probably, but with great reluctance because I think mom and pops should be off limits. They aren't Dow Chemical or Apple are they? And really, being unhappy with one-time bad service shouldn't translate into condemnation of the whole enterprise, especially an enterprise in your home community. Tardy and/or haughty restaurant service in the grand scheme of things? Not worth mentioning.

HANDLEY CELLARS PRESENTS The Ninth Annual Art In The Cellar. On February 8th, 9th, and 10th, Anderson Valley artists and craftspeople will display some of their work in a unique annual exhibit hosted by Handley Cellars in Philo. “Art In The Cellar” showcases local artists’ work against the backdrop of Handley’s wine cellar. During the three-day show, the exhibit will be open to the public from noon to 4 on Friday and Saturday, and from 11 to 4 on Sunday, February 10th, to coincide with Handley’s Alsace Varietal Festival Open House. Handley Cellars is currently conducting a raffle to benefit Anderson Valley Arts, a local non-profit supporting local art programs. Tickets will be on sale at the exhibit, with the drawing held the following week. In a gesture of encouragement to aspiring young artists, many participants in the show have donated pieces to be used as raffle prizes. Exhibiting artists include Pepperwood Pottery (Doug Johnson), The Pot Shop (Alexis Moyer), Antoinette von Grone, Wax and Bing Pottery (Jan Wax and Chris Bing), Evelyn Ashton, Valley Beads (Judy Nelson), Maire Palme, Stan Peskett, Marvin Schenck, Gary Church, Charlie Hochberg, Linda Baker, Steve Muchowski, Lucille Estes, Peggy Dart, Nancy MacLeod, Garden Spirits (Jim Ellison), Xenia King, and Colleen Bassett.

SEEK, DIOGENES, SEEK! The Missus and I attended, gratis, last Wednesday night's gala opening of the SF Jazz Center, an event so far out of my league… My nephew's family had pretty much funded the building being celebrated; at $500 minimum a pop we would not otherwise have been present. I'd hauled my burial suit out of the bottom drawer, slapped a little Dye “N Shine on my Nike walkers and headed out to the Civic Center Garage where it suddenly cost $15 to park because, the sign said, “Special Event Rates Tonight.” We footed it on over to Gough and Fell, and on into a very crowded tent where, if they could get to you through the massed bodies, attractive young people passed out free booze and tasty food morsels. I immediately rubbed elbows with Ronnie Lott, the famous 49er linebacker, to whom I said hello as if I knew him. He said hello back. He probably goes around all day saying hello to people he doesn't know, or want to know. I moved quickly on, not wanting him to even think I might try to bore him with some kind of turgid reminisce about The Catch etc. We soon saw Mr. and Mrs. Musslewhite, whom we know a little. Mr. M. told me he had more fun at Navarro than any place he'd ever performed, and told me to send along his best to Dave Evans of the Navarro Store. The new jazz auditorium is beautiful, and the sound so good you can hear every word wherever you're seated. A botoxed babe sat next to me, her cheekbones permanently raised to her temples and her vertiginous breasts spilling out of her dress. You don't see vistas like this around Boonville, and I confess I was getting dizzy. “So, where are you from, handsome?” she asked. I looked around to make sure it was me being addressed. Mendocino County I said. “I'm from Mill Valley, too,” she said, and commenced a free association monologue only parts of which were occasionally intelligible. Bill Cosby, the ostensible mc, walked on stage. He was painfully unfunny all night, although lots of lame brains laughed like he was hilarious. Cosby was obviously winging it and hadn't prepared even enough to fake preparation. The music? I didn't get it. I wasn't even sure it was music. I could see the old imperialist, George Schultz, nodding off in one of the thousand dollar seats. At the coat check Willie Brown was hassling the attendant. “You should have more than one person here,” badgering the harried girl working by herself to retrieve the garments of the great and the grand. It felt good to be back out on the street. Once all the swells are out of the way, the Center will be very good for San Francisco and very good for jazz music, some of which, I've got to assume, will be accessible even to squares like me.

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