Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. “The Turkey Vulture has landed,” as someone very famously once said. And I’m very pleasantly shocked to see how green everything is! When I left these shores a few short weeks ago all was brown and dry. You must have had a real soaking, and not before time — no doubt everyone got great use out of his or her umbrellas!?
With this in mind, it would be remiss of me not to take the opportunity for some more comments on the weather in the form of your Quotes of the Week. Here we go. First let’s bring in the Bard with this classic from “Macbeth,” “So foul and fair a day I have not seen.” And it is always worth mentioning words from Charles Dudley Warner, the American essayist and friend of Mark Twain, who wisely said, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” Equally as accurate is this comment from English novelist Jerome K. Jerome who opined, “We shall never be content until man makes his own weather and keeps it to himself.” But ultimately, for perhaps the most insightful remark of all, we must return to Shakespeare who, when writing about the extremely miserable weather conditions confronting his King Lear, describes a scene in the play of that name as “A naughty night to be naked in.” I think we can all relate.
Onward. Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #684. For those so inclined, the monthly Community Drum Session is this evening Wednesday, March 12 at The Grange. Contact Rob 3897 or Andy 3020 for further details. #685. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be in town at the AV Farm Supply on just one occasion this month: tomorrow, Thursday March 13. Call 462-8833 for further details. They set up at that location from 2-3.30pm and to avoid a line perhaps go around 3pm. You will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome, and perhaps support our local farm supply while you’re there. The vets’ next Valley visit will not be until April 10. #686. The “Open Mic” at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville takes place on the third Saturday of every month and that means this coming Saturday, March 15 at 9pm. All are welcome: musicians, singers, poets, writers, impressionists, magicians, comedians, actors, fire-eaters, pole dancers, sword swallowers, ventriloquists, raconteurs, exotic dancers, animal callers, etc. No clowns. Apparently they would scare any kids who might be there, and no mimes, please. They scare me. #687. It’s that time again. St. Patrick’s Day. The Senior Center Dinner to celebrate the occasion is on Saturday, March 15 in the Apple Hall in Boonville with a happy hour at 5.30pm and dinner served at 6.30pm. Call 895-3609 for further details. #688. And on St. Patrick’s day itself, Monday, March 17, local “jack-of-all-trades” Jeff Burroughs and his band, The Usual Suspects, will be playing live at The Buckhorn accompanied by the appropriate dinner menu of corned beef and cabbage etc, with specials on both Guinness and Jameson’s Irish Whiskey. #689. The AV Historical Society’s annual meeting at The Grange is on Sunday, March 23 at 1pm. This year’s program will feature a short talk by Valerie Hanelt about the cemeteries in the Valley and will be followed with a presentation in photographs and words by Valley historian Wes Smoot and his co-author Steve Sparks on their upcoming book. “Anderson Valley Buildings and Homes. Then and Now.”
Here’s the menu for the Community lunches next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans Hall in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from Seniors and charges $7 for Non-Seniors. Tomorrow, Thursday, March 13, the lunch, always served by Marti Titus and her crew at 12.15pm, will be Vegetable Beef soup, Garlic bread, Ferro salad, with Strawberry Whip for dessert . Then next Tuesday, March 18, the menu will feature Salisbury steak, Mashed potatoes, Peas, Rolls, Gravy, Barley salad, and Peanut Butter Chocolate bar. Remember, all ages are welcome. Hope to see you there.
Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Yes, “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (and surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…The regulars at the Three-Dot offered the usual cross-section of reviews on last week’s Variety Show, ranging from “great fun” and “a wonderfully entertaining evening” to “he/she should stick to singing in the shower” and “you’d thing they would have rehearsed first.” It is, what it is — a good wholesome night out, particularly for families, and if you go with that in mind it will be a positive experience and the naysayers should probably stay away.
…Whinery News. Shame on the winery that recently closed its doors for good but did not inform their employee until the day it happened that they were out of work after seven years of loyal service. Some folks have no class despite all of the pretence.
…Winery News. On a brighter note, I am somewhat reliably informed that founder of Breggo Cellars on Hwy 128, Doug “Sorbet” Stewart, who sold that business a few years back and has been operating his own little winery next door in the form of Lichen Wines, will be moving back into the original space when Breggo (owned by Lede Vineyards of Napa) closes its doors for the last time sometime soon and leaves the Valley. And is that Van and Anne’s Witching Stick Winery that is moving into the tasting room in downtown Philo? The one currently occupied by Lula Cellars, who have been trying to move into a new tasting room at the end of Guntley Road next to Handley Cellars for some time. It’s all happening around here, and by my current count, assuming all this is true, there will be 28 tasting rooms in the Valley as we move into the spring and on to what will hopefully be a prosperous summer for one and all.
…So the deadline has passed and it’s too late if anyone was thinking of officially challenging incumbent Tom Allman for the position of County Sheriff in November’s election. The same applies to District Attorney C. David Eyster and our own 5th District Supervisor Dan Hamburg. All three were unopposed. Surely not a good thing in a civilized society no matter how good a job the majority of folks may think they are doing. If only AVA Supreme Leader Bruce Anderson, Captain Major Scaramella, and yours truly, had thought of this earlier? (Oh, they did? Too late now.)
…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series. “Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching.” Buzzard reports, “If the Apocalypse is going to get here anytime soon, during this current rainy season perhaps, then I know of a couple of gentlemen who will know exactly what to do with themselves in such a scenario. I overheard this little interchange in town last Sunday afternoon as the rains came down. One asked the other, “Oh, what to do on a rainy afternoon in Anderson Valley?” To which his friend replied without any hesitation, “Smoke weed and hang out in a hot tub.” I guess it’s as good a plan as any other should these two find themselves unprepared.
Time to take my leave. So, until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. A final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at email@example.com. PPS. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred. … Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll? … Keep up the good work, Round-eyed Robin.