Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. The “Unpresidential” Race for the Presidency. Perhaps I have been remiss. My recent comments about The Donald and his controversial campaign for the Presidency have resulted in the devil incarnate, Ted Cruz, escaping my Turkey Vulture wrath, rhyme, and reason. “TrusTed” not only looks demonic, his comments and manner of speaking on many issues seem to me to suggest he is indeed possessed by a monstrous mix of Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, the Evil One, and Old Nick too. Ted Cruz is no doubt every bit as vile, bigoted and hateful as Trump. None of his peers appear to like him, surely not a good quality. He’s not as big of a blowhard as The Donald, but then Trump is not a narrow-minded evangelical conservative like Cruz. “Pastor” Ted’s strategy rests on mobilizing alienated conservatives, in particular the millions of white evangelical Christians who, his team believes, can swing elections when they are galvanized to vote. Conversely his appeal to moderates is limited. Furthermore, he has had little to say to or about the poor, and his flagship economic policy is a regressive flat-rate income tax of 10%. Black Americans, Mexican Americans, gay Americans, anyone concerned about climate change (which he denies) or a woman’s right to choose, and non-Christians should all look elsewhere to vote. Cruz demonstrates little interest in foreign alliances or domestic ones; the only foreign leader he name-checks approvingly is Israel’s right-wing autocratic leader Binyamin Netanyahu. He evinces an unholy relish for “carpet-bombing” the Islamic State and “making the desert glow,” with little regard for the consequences or the innocent victims of “collateral damage.” However perhaps the biggest reason for hoping he does not become President is that, according to those close to him, Cruz is a Texan “from his head to his boots.” Seems like a good reason to me. Speaking of his boots, his lucky pair are made of ostrich skin, not the “presidential” look required when attending summits with other world leaders, unless of course the Brits arrive in bowler hats with umbrellas tucked under their arms, the French in berets on bicycles, the Muslim leaders in burqas (even if they are men), and the Germans goose-step into the meeting precisely on time.
Public Service Announcements. #486 and #487. Two busy weekends are approaching. Saturday/Sunday, April 23/24 is the annual Wildflower Show presented by the Unity Club, with the 2nd Annual Goat Festival taking place alongside on the Saturday afternoon; and then on Saturday, April 30, it’s the 25th Annual Anderson Valley Beer Festival. Both events are at the Fairgrounds in Boonville. #488. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be at the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on two occasions this month. Tomorrow, April 14 and then again on April 28 from 2-3.30pm. Best to go around 3pm; you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets always welcome Call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them. #489. The “Second Wednesday Drumming Circle” at The Grange tonight, Wednesday, April 13 from 7-9pm. Andy, 895-3020. #490. The Mendocino Bookmobile returns on Tuesday, April 19: Alternate Tuesdays, 45 minutes at each place: Navarro Store 9am (just 30 minutes); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details. #491. The AV Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1-4pm. The Little Red Schoolhouse is next to the Elementary School on AV Way, a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. #492. The Food Bank is open from 8-10am on the 3rd Tuesday of each month: next Tuesday, April 19. Starting this month, they will also be open the Monday evening before (April 18) from 4-6pm. Gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds can donate extra produce and drop it off on the Monday behind the Boonville Methodist Church. If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at firstname.lastname@example.org. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank Director. 895-3763.
Senior Center Menu this week at the Veterans Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors. Tomorrow, Thursday, April 14, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Stir Fry Chicken with Strawberry Short Cake for dessert. Then, next Tuesday, March 19, the lunch will feature Salisbury Steak with Noodles, plus Cherry Crisp for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal. it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am. Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember. ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there.
Topics and Valley events this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…What a marvelous gesture! A local benefactor has stepped in and donated over $3500 so that the high school soccer program can replace their old dilapidated goals and nets with much-needed new ones. The successful program (five postseason titles in the last six years) was in danger of having to forfeit games in the fall if this vital but expensive equipment had not been replaced and it looked like money was not forthcoming from anywhere. Many people do not have the big hearts to match their bank balances but those who do are so important in communities like ours and we are very fortunate to have quite a few of them who live in and support the Valley.
…Hummingbird and I made our first visit to the “new” Aquarelle and thoroughly enjoyed the delicious meal and a more informal and relaxed ambience than the previous version. With Chef Christina’s undoubted culinary expertise and host Satoru’s excellent front-of-house skills this well-located establishment should have a very busy summer.
…I often hear Valley people comment that too many Valley functions happen on the same night and folks frequently have to make a difficult choice. With this in mind, and as someone who spends what some miserable bastards might think is an unhealthy amount of time on the Valley “scene” in one way or another, may I suggest that the event planners for our various restaurants, bars, organizations, and institutions start thinking about Friday evenings as a good night for their functions. You’re probably thinking “what is the Turkey Vulture smoking/drinking?” But my “research” shows that, apart from Tuesdays which, with few exceptions, have always been the slow night of the week in the hospitality business, the most under-utilized evening of the week for Valley events is, very surprisingly, Friday. Strange but true, and perhaps something to be aware of in your future planning.
I’m outtahere. I’ve got see a man about a sheep. So please take me drunk, I’m home, and until we talk again. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you. A final request, “Let us prey.” Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me through the Letters Page or at email@example.com. PS. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred. Hi, Silver Swan. behaving yourself? Hopefully not! Tired of relaxing yet, Round-eyed Robin?