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Old Lady Claims She’d Die Before Voting For Trump

The benevolent Lord of Tabulators granted her wish. Then the deceased's obituary stated she also preferred death to punching Hillary's chad. Prolonging the farce, Deborah Wasserman-Schultz(Sen-FL, aka the Goebbels of Coral Gables) released a DNC statement blaming Bernie Sanders's Brownshirts for murdering yet another fine set of American-made ovaries before they could be recycled into a Blue Gap Dress.

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