First up this week. “The Trump Thing,” or as it had been known for nearly 250 years up until now, The US Presidency. On this occasion we have commentary from our top investigative reporter, The Old Buzzard, who adds these thoughts as part of his insightful series. “Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching.” Buzzard observes, “You’ve seen Donald Trump's egregiously long, taped-together ties. You've seen Steve Bannon's need to wear half the contents of his closet all at once. So now let us turn our gaze to yet another sartorial sin being committed by this controversial administration: Sean Spicer's ties. For some inexplicable reason, the White House press secretary prefers ties for which ‘electric’ is the main color descriptor. And the material? It's so thick and stiff that it looks like it requires a hydraulic press to tie it. As a general rule, bright blue with fire engine red, silver, and baby blue stripes is a palette that should be avoided by anyone not in a profession that requires a degree from clown college.
“Now, as you might know, Spicer has taken a lot of heat for his ill-fitting suits, but that's something he's been trying to rectify. According to a recent story, Spicer visited a DC franchise of NYC-based custom clothing company Book-A-Tailor to get some properly fitting suits. Unfortunately, and somewhat hilariously considering Trump's made-in-the-USA thumping, they were made in Thailand! Although it did seem to help because in recent press briefings Spicer has looked less like a 13-year-old kid in his big brother's hand-me-downs. Obviously, there are far more serious things to worry about than clothing style with this administration, but if the devil is in the details — and these guys obviously can't comprehend a detail as simple as a tie — then it's terrifying to think what they must be missing with something as complicated as health care or even nuclear war.”
Thank you, Buzzard. Public Service Announcements. #542. Huevos Rancheros, a simple but beautiful thing, is now available every day at Lizbby’s Restaurant in Boonville. And chilaquiles quite often too! #542. A message from Kathleen Michaels, art teacher at the local high school regarding today’s (March 15) special event at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville that accompanies the art show running at the restaurant from March 7 to April 23. “We are excited to invite you to join us for an opening reception for the exhibit of the AV High School Photography Class “Finding Our Voice PhotoVoice Project” on Wednesday, March 15, 3.45-5pm at Lauren’s restaurant. You will have an opportunity to view student photograph collections and artist statements/storylines from the project, as well as a presentation of the project by Photography Class students with healthy, light refreshments provided by Pennyroyal Farm.” #543. The annual St Patrick’s Day Dinner to benefit the Senior Center is Saturday, March 18 at the Apple Hall in the Fairgrounds in Boonville. for more details, see this week’s accompanying ad. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have two visits this month to the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, from 2-3.30pm both tomorrow, Thursday March 16 and next week on March 23. Best tos turn up at around 3pm. You will definitely be seen. They will be also be here twice next month. April 13 and 20. New customers and their pets always welcome; previous visitors can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them! #545. The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, March 21. Phone 463-4694 for confirmation. They are usually here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. #546. The AV Museum is closed for the winter/spring. #547. The monthly Barn Sales resume on Saturday/Sunday, April 1/2. details to follow. #548. Gardeners, Farmers and Produce Growers of all kinds, please remember Food Bank days (3rd Tuesday of every month) as a place to donate your extra produce. It will be greatly appreciated. The food bank has added new hours. They are always open from 8-10am on the 3rd Tuesday of every month; also now open on the Monday evening before, from 4-6. Please drop off on the Monday, behind Boonville Methodist Church. If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at email@example.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director — 895-3763. #549. And last, but far from least, Natalie Matson, co-owner of Lauren’s Restaurant, will present her monthly “Sunday Supper” on Sunday, March 26, from 5-8.30pm, featuring comfort dining in a cozy atmosphere at Lauren’s that will warm you inside and out. The Shepherd’s pie, (the real thing. with lamb not beef) is highly recommended, one of many delicious meals Natalie offers.
Here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans Building in Boonville. $6 donation from seniors and $7 for Non-seniors. Tomorrow, Thursday, March 16, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Cajun Sausage and Chicken pasta with Mississippi Mud Cake. Then, next Tuesday, March 21, the lunch will feature Steak Pizzola and Earthquake Cake for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal. it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week! Tai Chi is available every Tuesday at 11am; Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class and the Active Life Club from 10am to 2pm features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. Sign up early at 489-1175. ALL ages welcome! Hope to see you there.
Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…A number of 3-Dot regulars attended the General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz held at Lauren’s Restaurant last Thursday evening and found themselves among a crowd of 44 contestants! One of the biggest turnouts for some time. The winners were “Everybody is Covered" (a reference to the Trump administration’s claim for their proposed health insurance plans), a team that featured Valley dwellers Terry Ryder, Muriel Ellis, Bob Sites, Bob and Lydia of AV Valley Inn fame, and Mark Scaramella. Runners-up were “The Flynn Creek Pot Holes” who made the trip from their “homeland” in Comptche and finished just one point behind the winners. There were 10 teams in total and a fine time of eating, drinking, socializing, and brain exercising was had by all.
…Ron O’Brien’s “Celebration of Life” took place at The Grange on Saturday with a wonderful turnout paying their respects to a very popular Valley man who had clearly affected the lives of many, particularly those on the local music scene. Mary O’Brien and friends put on a great event. Surely, Ron was playing along merrily wherever he is.
…It’s that time of year. The local high school boys baseball began their season last week and play their first home game this Saturday (March 18) at 1pm against South Fork; girls softball starts tomorrow at Technology H.S. in Rohnert Park, with their first home game next Tuesday (March 21) against the same opposition at 4pm. Nothing like the sound of bat-on-ball to get you in a spring state of mind.
…Staying with “school news,” there is no truth whatsoever to the rumor that the school had a day off on Monday because it was thought that some teachers would have difficulty attending due the confusion of the introduction of daylight savings time the day before. (Hahaha. it’s a joke and, to many of us at the 3-Dot, quite an amusing one).
I’m outtahere. I’ve got see a man about a sheep. Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; Keep the Faith; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too. A final request, “Let us prey.” Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact through the Letters Page or at firstname.lastname@example.org. PS. Keep on humming, Hummingbird. Missing the Venerable Pheasant. On the sheep, Grace.