Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably I shall begin. Let’s get straight on to the Public Service Announcements and that way if you don’t want to read all the other stuff you don’t have to! (Very thoughtful of me, eh?) #215: With it being the third Friday, it’s time for the monthly Dance Groove at The Grange on July 16th from 7-10pm with dancing and gyrating to the sounds of D.J. Pete. #216: At the Boonville Farmers’ Market on Saturday morning (July 17th, 9:30-noon) in the hotel parking lot, not only will there be the usual goodies, but they’ll also have the ‘diamond edge knife and tool sharpening’ on offer. #217: This weekend, Sat July 17th, in the Deep End sees the next event in the summer’s live music series — the blues guitar sounds of Guitar Shorty following an opening act featuring The Ralph Woodson Experience — a Jimi Hendrix tribute band. #219 & #220: The Lions Club monthly meeting is on Monday 19th and The Grange meeting is Tuesday 20th, both at 7pm, now you know.
Moving on to a few quickies under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…I can confirm that Tom Towey, recently of Boonville Lodge fame, will open a pub/restaurant at the location in the heart of downtown Boonville formerly known as The Buckhorn Saloon/Highpockety Ox sometime in the next couple of months.
…Shelley Scaramella will re-open a bar at The Lodge location in the next month hopefully. No restaurant is planned for the space next door at this time.
…The new ice cream shop, under the auspices of Johnny ‘Two Scoops’ Schmitt from the Boonville Hotel, with the very competent Miranda in charge, is now looking at a Friday, July 23rd opening day. I don’t know if I can wait that long for some delicious vanilla chocolate chip but I’ll do my best. Hope you can do the same.
…Several regulars wish me to pass on their gratitude to Ricardo at The Redwood Drive-In in downtown Boonville for showing World Cup matches when nobody else in town either could or would. For the Final on Sunday he even sent out several plates of complimentary appetizers to the assembled masses that probably numbered about 40 people. I even spotted Deputy Squires in there for one of the semi-finals, although he is not an admirer of ‘The Beautiful Game’ so I suspect he had no idea what was going on, nor cared.
Talking of which, as I watched the Final on Sunday morning, I ravenously devoured the delicious chicken taco plate and cheered the Netherlands on as they lost 0-1 against Spain. To complement this delightful lunch I guzzled down a couple of Scrimshaw Pilsners from the brewery in Fort Bragg and I have to tell you that the zesty chicken coupled with the cool pilsner beer was— yes, you guessed it, orgasmic; and that’s why I just have to have Scrimshaw as my Wine (Beer) of the Week.
Now let’s move to the Whine of the Week. What can I say. I’ve had a very pleasant week with little to complain about. How about the people you often meet whom we Turkey Vultures refer to as The Cappers? I’ve overheard and spoken with several over the past week or two (and hundreds over the years) who would fit this description. In these cases all were out-of-towners who just cannot accept that perhaps you know the Valley somewhat better than them. You know who they are: those who, having listened to you for a few sentences at the most, have to jump in and ‘cap’ your tale/news with a similar tale/news of their own that takes much longer to tell and, more often than not, is quite boring, and sometimes untrue if the truth were told. Nevertheless, they just have to grab a little limelight whenever they can, always lecturing, enjoying the sound of their own voice, and unable to just listen and converse. ‘Feed them to the hungry pigs on Ornbaun Road’ I say. (Of course we do have our own local Cappers and for a list of these please turn to page 74).
Time to take my leave. But first, the usual farewell comments. With the hot weather now with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle. Otherwise, be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Poking and stroking egos wherever necessary and, as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Keep the Faith. PPS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by email at email@example.com. PPPS. Hi, Silver Swan; behaving yourself? Hopefully not!