Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. But only to let you know the Public Service Announcements and to share a little Valley story of our times.
PSAs. #134: Saturday, Oct 23rd sees the return of The South West Dinner at The Apple Hall in Boonville to benefit the Senior Center. With a social hour starting at 6pm, featuring beer, wine, and margaritas, followed by dinner at 7pm, live music from Billy (Owens) and Sheila (Hibbs) and their ‘Okie Hoedown,’ plus a raffle, it’s sure to be one of those special Valley community evenings that everyone always enjoys. (Tickets at Lemons’ Market in Philo, ‘All that Good Stuff’ in Boonville, or at the door). #135: The Senior Center is offering a Flu Shot Clinic for one and all on Tuesday October 26th from 5:30pm to 7:30pm. Shots are free for Seniors and very reasonably priced for the rest. It’s that time of year– don’t be messing with your health! (Call 895-3609 for further details.)
As I flew over Boonville on Saturday afternoon, I could not help but spot two attractive female tourists in their mid-30s teetering around in summer dresses and high heels on the uneven sidewalk outside Lauren’s Restaurant. As I landed nearby, heading for the AV Market, one of them immediately began to talk to me. “Hi,” she slurred, “Do you know how far Hendy Woods is from here?” “Sure,” I answered, realizing immediately that they were quite tipsy, “It’s about 15 minutes drive north of here. Are you planning to walk around there?” “Well, we’d like to,” said the other one, as she almost slipped and fell, “Is it an easy walk?” “Hmm, it isn’t bad at all, but maybe not in those shoes,” I observed, unable to refrain from a comment. “That’s OK,” she giggled. “We have walking shoes for that. These heels are just for wine drinking and the bedroom!” They both burst out laughing. I nodded approvingly as I walked towards the store, adding “Oh, very nice. Well, I hope you have a good time, wherever you are and whatever you do” “Oh we will,” said the first one. “Thanks for your help — we love it here, everyone is so friendly.” And with that they began to cross the road without looking, forcing an oncoming car to break very abruptly. They didn’t seem to notice and were oblivious as I, like some perverted bird of prey, surreptitiously watched them climb awkwardly, skirts rising high, into the back of a shiny Land Cruiser parked outside Rossi’s Hardware with two men sitting in the front seats. (Any hot-blooded Vulture would have done the same, I’m sure). Moments later, the engine roared as they peeled out, doing a u-turn across Highway 128, and headed north. It was still only 3pm and I can only imagine what the rest of the day, and night, held in store for them.
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave. Besides, I have to see a man about a sheep. Please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle. Otherwise, be careful out there, stay out of the ditches, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Poking and stroking egos wherever necessary, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Keep the Faith. PPS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at email@example.com.