The World Has Gone Bananas

The US government wants Cuba to convert to capitalism. Cuba wants to stay socialist. Cuba accuses four dissidents of plotting to stop foreign investment from coming into Cuba; that is to stop capitalism from developing in Cuba. Cuban prosecutors allege that the US government paid these dissidents to plot against capitalism in Cuba. US officials in Cuba dispersed money to these dissidents in return for them supporting the Helms Burton Act, which penalizes capitalists in Cuba. You don’t get it? The United States demands that Cuba convert to our style capitalism. Yet, our Congress passed laws to impede capitalism in Cuba. And our government pays Cubans to stop capitalist investment so that Cuba can properly become capitalist. You get it yet?

The US government has also accused ten Cuban nationals of falsely entering the United States, getting jobs at a south Florida airbase (sweeping and mopping the floors) and then transmitting secret information about the activities of US fighter jets in south Florida. It appears that the Cubans occasionally notified Havana that US planes would take off in the morning, return to base a couple of hours later and get refueled.

The US government has also charged these Cubans with entering Florida in order to infiltrate terrorist organizations of Cuban Americans, who were in fact conspiring to carry out violence in Cuba. If the US government had stopped encouraging terrorism against Cuba, we would not have sent these people to infiltrate the terrorist groups, says a Cuban official. Remember, these people bombed tourists and flew airplanes over Cuban territory. Irony? In his Fall 1998 speech to the UN General Assembly, President Clinton declared that he had zero tolerance for terrorism. You don’t believe Bill Clinton?

Recently, headlines have warned of a Trade War. The United States punished Europe for discriminating against our bananas by levying heavy tariffs against certain European products like Italian made feta cheese. The EU won’t buy our bananas because they give preference to bananas grown in their former colonies. The Europeans complain that US retaliatory acts could provoke a full-scale trade war. Its outrageous that Europeans discriminate against our bananas, that poor Chiquita can’t find her way into Paris supermarkets. Think of the poor US banana growers that are suffering. What? The United States doesn’t grow bananas. They’re not really ours? Chiquita Banana company contributes mightily to the campaign coffers of both parties? Goodness.

The world is going bananas. But if you like them with chocolate coating made in Europe, you’re gonna have to pay an arm and a leg.

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