A Rogue Fungus

In the latter years of the Reagan administration, when even sophisticated urbanites were terrified of the AIDS virus and shunned those afflicted (never mind rural blue-collar backwaters whose tolerance levels still run about 20 years behind city folk; shunning was rarely enough for them, preferring more dramatic and biblical means of expressing their distaste, like […]

Harm Reduction

If there is one thing that sticks in the collective conservative craw (and I assure you there are many and various such indigestibles on their menu; one imagines a fussy two-year-old scowling stubbornly, arms folded, as the plane loaded with liberal ideas circles fruitlessly outside the hangar), it’s the phrase harm reduction. Absurd, you say. […]

Mr. Rat: Rats & A Boy Who Loved One

I have rats, which I suppose is another way of saying that I have a place for rats to be, a fact for which I am surpassingly grateful. Once you’ve experienced even a casual acquaintanceship with the condition of houselessness your perspective shifts and all the granted-taking-for of a roof and four walls, presuming you […]

Here We G(r)o(w) Again, Part II

Well, a promise is a promise, and I suppose that being clean and reforming myself includes doing my best to keep them, and thus—the timeline.  Day Two- I mentioned in my last transmission about the drug not working any more and that was true, but immediately following that my mind and body reset itself, effectively […]

Coach Cavender’s Retirement

In a follow-up to last week’s canine report, Coach Cavender, whose relationship with his beloved Yorkie Gig should and does concern his wife about her own place in his affections (I would not care to speculate about the outcome of a Sophie’s Choice involving the two) was just as pleased and proud as a new […]

The Dogs of Pi Ranch

Editor-san reports a clamor at my absence, so I figured I had better get on the stick, even questioning the presence of anything clamorous. A susurration, perhaps, maybe even a faint buzz; but whatever it is, I’m just glad somebody misses me. And on the subject of missing, if you’ve noticed me absent on Facebook […]

Here We Go Again

Three and one-half short weeks ago, I was benching my weight and doing 15 pull-ups at a go. Granted, I don’t weigh much more than a jockey holding a lapdog, but still. My steps were so surfeited with pep my feet barely grazed the ground, even when traveling somewhere undesirable, because when you’re in the […]

Good Sam Strikes Again

Cars have, since their very inception and notwithstanding either the futurists’ fanciful flights nor a few ill-advised and poorly conceived attempts at producing an amphibious vehicle, been designed and engineered for movement on and across one specific medium: the skin of the earth. Flying cars, diving cars, burrowing cars, and so on, would just be […]

The Triumphant Return of Mr. Hospitality

You can all breathe a sigh of relief— I’m not about to start belaboring the particulars of whatever it is I’ve been up to of late. Even I grow weary of the patterns of debauchery, degradation, contrition, and empty promises I have been peppering these pages with since I first relapsed in December, so I […]

Back to the Stacks

Back in the dark ages of my youth, and I don’t mean to say that it was a dark time— quite the contrary, it was rather brightly illuminated; I was making a hyperbolic statement to illustrate the vast gulf of time between my salad days and current doddering condition of senescent decrepitude (another exaggeration) and […]

The Life Pastoral

I’ve been feeling lately as if I should be (or should have been) evolving. Not in the literal sense, although some kind of spontaneous flash mutation like growing gills or supernumerary phalanges or toxin-secreting glands might be fun, and of course being the launch point of the age of Novo Homo would satisfy that need […]

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