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The SoHum Report: Summer Solstice Weed Update

There is no market. 

If you didn't get $700 a pound last month you might not get $600 now for last year's off-brand flavors. Everyone who was waiting to get more, in both the black and white markets, is now scrambling to dump it before they have to settle for $500 or $400 or who knows how low it will go? 

The buyers are just not showing up as they can get it cheaper closer to home.

In other news the neighborhood dealer lady turned me on to an interesting clone: It's called GMO and is Girl Scout Cookie crossed with Chem Dawg, and then crossed again with Purple Punch. I looked it up and it's so strong that 3% of users report paranoia. (Hmm, sounds like the good old daze.) Her backyard is planted up with it so that's good, right? Grow what the buyers like...

People are talking about The SoHum Report:

Humboldt Planning Director John Ford: Good job SoHum Report. Those GMO's are looking pretty good from up here on the satellite but can't you count to six? Looks like sixty or more so we'll drop by for a little visit when we come down later to bulldoze the last dreams of the mom 'n pops. But “GMO,” are you kidding? All my hippie friends hate that name.

Humboldt Supervisor Sun Gnome Madrone: But what about the good brands? I've still got thirty elbows of Ice Cream Cake to move. What, you think anyone can live on a measly salary of a hundred grand plus bennies? Typical bumpkin reporting—not a word about prices for the good stuff.

Humboldt Sheriff Honsal: Damn, I want some of those GMO clones for my backyard patch! You think cops don't like to rock the fatties? Now I gotta run, I hear another Antifa bus just rolled into Arcata.

Media Icon Kym Kemp: That's it, the dream has died, no way will I be able to compete against The SoHum Report. The RHBB will be closing down as of midnight tonight.

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