Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. We’ll start off with a question. What do these Valley folks have in common? – Eva Holcomb, June Lemons, Diane Herron, Carolyn Short, Alice Fashauer, Rod Basehore, Barbara Bowers, Larry Lombard, James Crabtree. No, they’re not all regulars at newly reopened Boonville Saloon, not that there would be anything wrong with that if they were. Yes, you’ve got it – every one of them celebrates a birthday in June! Many happy returns to them all.
Great news! The AV Farm Supply is still with us! The new ownership, Ardzrooni Vineyard Management, took over last week from long-time owners, Dave and Nancy Gowan and have pledged to continue the farm supply operation, in all its guises, as much as they possibly can. This means gardening and livestock supplies, items for your pets, etc, etc, even selling the AVA! Well done to them, and to the Gowan’s who really wanted the business to continue in the traditional way after they move on to greener pastures in Oregon in the very near future. Now its time to do our part. So please get over to the store, say ‘Hi’ to the new staff, led by Andrea Ardzrooni, and support your local farm supply!
Moving on. The Graduation Season is at an end and the school students have departed for a summer of fun and frivolity, and perhaps even to find time to give a little help to their parents around the house and in the yard! I attended some part or all of each of the four graduation ceremonies in the Valley, although there are just two that I personally feel are really meaningful — the one last Wednesday for the 6th graders going on to “the big school,” and Thursday’s ceremony for the high school seniors. I am certainly not alone in thinking this way. Just the other night on the local radio station, presenter W. Dan echoed these sentiments and several parents have also voiced similar thoughts. I am not against the pre-school graduation or the 8th grade event as such, each are lovely occasions, but with four graduations before our students are even 18 I feel we somewhat downgrade the significance of the other two ceremonies, each of which are particularly important watershed moments in a young person’s life. I could go on, but won’t; after all, the joy on the faces of every child and parent at all four events was something both very special and even moving and, I must admit, even bought a tear or two to this curmudgeon’s eyes.
Public Service Announcements; calendars and pens at the ready. #124. As mentioned above, the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will continue to make regular visits to the Valley. In fact they return here tomorrow, Thursday, June 14th. They will be at The AV Farm Supply from 2pm to 3.30pm and if you call them 48 hours in advance (462-8833) you can ensure that your pet’s charts are brought “over the hill” and order any medications your pet might need. New customers and their pets are always welcome. #125. It’s the 3rd Friday of the month so that means the Grange Groove is back, coming to The Grange on Hwy 128, on Friday, June 15th from 8pm on, featuring dancing and gyrating to the sounds of D.J. Pete (KZYX d.j. from ‘Up All Night’). #126. Talking about sleepless nights, it’s time to seriously start thinking about getting tickets for this year’s Sierra Nevada World Music Festival which comes to the Valley on the weekend of Fri-Sun, June 22-24. #127. Finally, I do believe there’s a Lions Club meeting at The Grange on Monday, June 18th at 7pm. Not joined yet? Check it out; they are a fine group of Valley folks who contribute many great things for the Valley and have lots of fun doing them.
Topics and Valley events under discussion at The Three-Dot Lounge; yes “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…The Boonville Saloon (formerly The Boonville Lodge) has re-opened for business after a few months’ hiatus. There has been a bar in this location or thereabouts for over 100 years and that makes it a veritable Valley institution. Some people like to be in an “institution” and I for one shall be joining them there very shortly.
…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series, ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “The summer is just about here. We are past Memorial Day so I believe that makes it official. That means it’s time to reiterate my Five Rules of the Road for these parts, the breaking of any of which surely goes to show that the Apocalypse is fast approaching. #1. All drivers shall follow the rules of the road. That most definitely includes California Vehicle Code #21656: ‘Slower vehicles must pull over to allow others to pass.’ Furthermore, we shall have no driving over 60mph anywhere and no driving under 40mph in the 55mph limit without pulling over in the Valley’s many turnouts to let others pass. Of course driving at 30mph or less in town is to be strictly enforced, with very grave consequences for those who do not follow these guidelines. Do I hear ‘feed ‘em to the pigs’ from anyone? #2. All drivers parking at 90 degrees to the sidewalk outside businesses and stores will have their vehicles egged. Eggs will be paid for (upon proof of receipt and photograph of the eggs on the windscreen) by Captain Rainbow, as failing to park parallel to the sidewalk is his pet peeve and he wants to see the practice brought to an end more than any of us. #3. Residents will be asked to “verbally confront” the “biker hordes” when those weekend visitors (mostly accountants, bankers, and lawyers posing in their rarely worn, stiff and shiny leathers, pretending to be “rebels”) arrive this summer and annoyingly begin revving up their very noisy Harley motorbikes. From now on hopefully they will be pointed at and told, “Don’t be late at the office on Monday morning.” What are they going to do? Throw their man-purses at us? #4. The Caltrans workers who are standing around doing nothing will not be allowed to scowl menacingly at drivers as they pass. It’s not clever, funny, or even that menacing, but it does seem to keep many of them from their work for long periods of time. And #5. Try to remember that when driving you are surrounded by many members of the public you would not dream of interacting with in any other situation. While most are considerate and aware of their surroundings and follow driving etiquette, some are aggressive, some are rude, and some are just plain stupid. It is what it is, and I would suggest a policy of “smile and drive-on” is the only way to deal with this. As my friend, the self-proclaimed wise Turkey Vulture, likes to say, ‘Trust me on this; you can thank me later’.”
Time to take my leave. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or at email@example.com. PPS. On the sheep, Grace. PPPS. Hope you’re doing well, Jamal.