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The Devil’s Tools

Ed Abbey famously declared, "No matter how bad a situation is, calling a cop can only make it worse." That attitude is widely shared in Mendocino County, especially among people who've never needed some serious, emergency muscle.

Kevin Dirksen probably is of the Ed Abbey school. He recently wanted to expose his two kids to a little worldly counter-culture, a weekend of peace, love and music, so he struck out for Boonville and the Sierra Nevada World Music Festival.

Arriving in Ukiah late at night Dirksen decided to stay overnight in the WalMart parking lot and cross the hill to Boonville on Highway 253 in the morning. WalMart, as some of you know, invites overnighters to share its vast parking space. Dirksen's van was well provisioned and comfortable, and the little family settled in for the night. Dirksen left the van's doors unlocked so the kids could get out if they had to go pee in the night.

A certain Mr. Rossetti, who is some kind of night watchman at the Ukiah Walmart, didn’t approve of one of Dirksen’s kids getting out of the van to pee in his parking lot. Rossetti snatched the kid up and called the cops. Shortly, both kids were in the grim matrons at Child Protective Services, the van was towed away by some buzzardly business that profits from misfortunes of others, and Kevin Dirksen was in jail.

Then the tow truck driver got to pawing through Dirksen’s things, probably looking for plunder, no sort of doubt about it, and found some drugs in a tool box. This civic-minded fellow understood that before Dirksen got out of his ensuing legal hassles and got his kids back, the storage fee on the van would be too high to pay off. And it would all fall into this carrion-eater’s lap.

The tow truck vulch also called the cops.

Andrew Higgins, a young, idealistic lawyer from the Public Defender’s office, imagined he could somehow bring some sanity into this situation by placing it before the reasonable and progressive Judge Ann Moorman last week.

The first officer on the scene that 3am night of the morning of June 21st was a Ukiah cop named Schneider

Deputy DA Doug Parker: “Did you talk to Mr. Dirksen?”

Officer Schneider: “Yes.”

Parker: “How did he look?”

Schneider: “He seemed somewhat agitated.”

Parker: “Why is that?”

Schneider: “He wanted to take the child, but I wasn’t going to release him.”

Parker: “Why is that?”

Schneider: “He was under the influence of marijuana.”

Higgins: “Objection, your honor.”

Moorman: “Sustained.”

Parker: “Did you ask Mr. Dirksen what he was doing?”

Schneider: “Yes. He said he was traveling to the Sierra Nevada World Music Festival in Boonville.”

Parker: “Do you recall what kind of a vehicle it was?”

Schneider: “It was a Chevy Suburban.”

Parker: “Did you look inside?”

Schneider: “Yes. It was in disarray, lots of blankets, food, some trash.”

Parker: “Notice anything else?”

Schneider: “I smelled marijuana.”

Parker: “What did you do next?”

Schneider; “I ran a records check and it came back with an out-of-county warrant.”

Parker: “Did you place Mr. Dirksen under arrest?”

Schneider: “Yes. For the warrant and the child-endangerment. I then called CPS and had the vehicle towed.”

Parker: “Did you ask why the kid was out of the vehicle?”

Schneider: “Yes. He said the kid got out to use the restroom.”

Parker: “And where was the nearest restroom?”

Schneider: “At the Quick Stop.”

Parker: “Nothing further.”

Higgins: “So you didn’t observe these events, the kid getting out, Mr. Rossetti finding the kid, any of that?”

Schneider: “No.”

Higgins: “Do you know where Mr. Dirksen was when all this happened?”

Schneider: “No, but I believe he was still in the vehicle.”

Higgins: “Wasn’t it immediately after you were called that Mr. Dirksen came looking for the child?”

Schneider: “Yes.”

Higgins: “And he was agitated?”

Schneider: “He seemed somewhat upset.”

Higgins: “Did you have any problem communicating with Mr. Dirksen?”

Schneider: “Not that I’m aware of.”

Higgins: “He seemed to understand you?”

Schneider: “Yes.”

Higgins: “Nothing further.”

Moorman: “How did the child appear?”

Schneider: “Shoeless. Dirty.”

Moorman: “I mean psychologically.”

Schneider: “He seemed to be upset at being separated from the parent.”

At this point Officer Schneider was dismissed and Officer Peter Hoyle was called. Hoyle is an undercover agent with the major crimes task force and an expert on drugs. When the toolbox from Dirksen’s vehicle arrived at the Ukiah PD, Hoyle was called in to ID the drugs.

Parker: “What did you find?”

Hoyle: “There were some envelopes containing powders which tested positive for methamphetamine and MDA, or ecstasy, as it’s commonly called.”

Parker: “Did you weigh the powders?”

Hoyle. “Yes. It was 7.8 grams.”

Parker: “In your opinion, was it for sale or for personal use?”

Hoyle: “I believe it was for sale. A lot of drugs are sold at the Sierra Nevada Music Festival, and I believe these drugs were destined to be sold there.”

Parker: “How many units of the molly was there?”

Hoyle: “There were 20 clear capsules, weighing about a gram each.”

Parker: “What else did you find in the toolbox?”

Hoyle: “Marijuana, hashish, psilocybin mushrooms, molly, LSD.

Parker: “How much LSD was there?”

Hoyle: “It was what’s called blotter acid. It’s a page of paper divided into quarter-inch squares, and I counted 42 hits on the sheet of paper.”

Parker: “How much marijuana?”

Hoyle: “Approximately 70 grams.”

Parker: “You mentioned a drug called molly. What is that?”

Hoyle: “Molly is the street name for MDA when it is in a powder form. Typically, molly is taken orally, whereas methamphetamine is not.”

Higgins: “Now, this vehicle got towed, did it not?”

Hoyle: “Yes.”

Higgins: “And how long was it between the time the car was towed from WalMart and the time you examined the toolbox?”

Hoyle: “My understanding was that it had been two or three days.”

Higgins: “Was it secured?”

Hoyle: “I never saw it. I don’t know.”

Higgins: “”Do you know if it was locked?”

Hoyle: “I have no idea.”

Higgins closed by saying that the state was unable to show that the vehicle was secured during the time it was taken from the WalMart parking lot. He seemed to be implying that the drugs could have been planted in the toolbox. As for the child endangerment, the kid was only out of the vehicle for two minutes or so and was in no real danger, since Mr. Rossetti said there was no one else in the parking lot.

“So the child was never exposed to any ‘great bodily harm’ or any kind of danger,” Higgins said. “As for the drugs, we don’t know for sure, from the presumptive tests at the police station whether they were methamphetamine or MDA.”

Judge Moorman said, “They’re both on the same schedule, so it doesn’t matter.”

Deputy DA Parker: “We don’t know if it was only two minutes the child was out of the car or longer. And there were drugs in the car. Mr. Dirksen was letting his children sleep where there were drugs! And he appeared to be under the influence of marijuana — very risky behavior for a parent! And the nearest restroom was 500 feet away at the Quick Stop! Not to mention the possibility of kidnappers that could have been going by at that hour!”

Judge Moorman: “I’m not going to hold anyone on suspicion of smoking marijuana. But as for counts Two, Three and Four: The 7, 8 grams, the 20 capsules, the 42 his of blotter acid, and the mushrooms are sufficient evidence to hold Mr. Dirksen to answer. Whether the powders were MDA or methamphetamine, we are not quite sure which, I agree with Mr. Higgins on that, but they’re both on the same schedule so it doesn’t matter. As for Count One, the child endangerment, we do, unfortunately, in our society, have people who live in their cars. However, at 3am an unsupervised child in a parking lot without shoes is exposed to potential harm, and serves to show indifference on the part of the parent … and the exposure to the substances in the toolbox … so, yes, there was some exposure when the child left car…”

The judge seemed to be struggling against her better instincts, like a hard-mouthed horse being brought around to the unpleasant realities of the Nanny State.

“…so, yes, I do find sufficient evidence to hold the defendant to answer on the child endangerment charges.”

* * *

As for the tetchy new judge in Department G, the Honorable Jeannine Nadel, the Administrator of the Courts CEO Karen Downing must have been peering over my shoulder when I made a note of stopping by to see how the new judge was doing. I had no more seated myself to observe when a pugnacious, bullet-headed fellow started a commotion. He was wearing shorts, which is verboten, and when a court attendant usually assigned to the non-criminal matters told Mr. Martin McCue that he was improperly dressed, Mr. McCue became, as they say in Therapy Land, "verbally abusive."

I followed the commotion out into the hall as more bailiffs were scrambled to escort the guy from the Courthouse, and eventually down into the street where McCue, perhaps pitching the noisiest, most militant sartorial protest ever pitched by a single slob, had gotten even louder in defense of his goddam right to wear any goddam thing he wanted any goddam place he wanted. McCue, of course, was a lot more emphatic than the goddams, frequently veering off into the usual scattershot accusations of maternal incest.

A nice little spectacle ensued, and soon a Ukiah Police cruiser had stopped in the middle of the intersection of State and Perkins Streets to make what I thought was an arrest of this shorts-wearing protester, Mr. McCue. I walked around the corner of the building where I watched the cops let the guy go, and he followed me to my refuge, the Forest Club, where he stood in the door staring at me in a very threatening way. The owner told the guy to either buy a drink or take a walk. McCue walked.

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