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Mendo Court Predictions For The Coming Year

At the Office of the Public Defender

  • Mary LeClair will become the new Public Defender.
  • Anthony Adams will be the new Assistant Public Defender.
  • Eric Rennert will be murdered by his client Caleb Silver.
  • Linda Thompson, after a few weeks of retirement, will demand her old job back.

At the DA’s Office

  • David Eyster will run for a third term.
  • ADA Rick Welsh will get dumped by his Orange County wife.
  • DDA Luke Oakley will marry a gunslinger named Annie.
  • DDA Scott McMenomey will retire to a farm.
  • DDA Tim Stoen will surprise everyone by living 20 more years.

Predictions for the Bench

  • The Hon. Keith Faulder will remain in Department A with the misdemeanor calendar.
  • The Hon. Cindee Mayfield will handle the secondary felonies in Department B.
  • The Hon. Ann Moorman will serve as Presiding Judge in Department G.
  • The Hon. Carly Dolan will go to Family Court due to the many former clients she would encounter in the criminal courts.
  • The Hon. John Behnke will soldier on in Department H with the main felony calendar
  • The Hon. Leonard La Casse (ret.) will catch a trophy trout in the Eel River.

At the Office of the Alternate Public Defender

  • Alt. Public Defender Patricia Littlefield will retire.
  • Asst. Alt. P.D. Doug Rhoades will retire.
  • Deputy Alt. P.D. Jan Cole-Wilson will retire.
  • Deputy Alt. P.D. Lewis Finch will get a DUI.

Predictions for the local Defense Bar

  • Atty. Justin Petersen will become as famously fearsome as Gerry Spence.
  • Atty. Al Kubanis will retire.

Predictions for the Jail Staff

  • Zohar Zaied will become the 1st Jewish Sergeant in Mendo History.
  • Jailhouse subscriptions to the AVA will be slapped with a prohibitive luxury tax to defray the Sheriff’s pay raise.
  • Despite deteriorating conditions at the jail, it will stay safer than the streets of Ukiah.

Predictions for the Courthouse Staff

  • The floggings will continue until morale improves.
  • The essential court-certified Spanish language interpreter, Mr. Tim Baird, will work increasingly longer shifts for less pay.
  • The gate guards will come under the direction of a new contractor.
  • A tremendous earthquake will send an avalanche of splintered glass down the main steps on April 1st at precisely 8:47am.

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