The Big Red Truck

The Big Red pickup truck. Bright red with huge wheels that lift it high off the road. Guy moves in next door with this monster, parks it on the street with a "club" on the steering wheel to prevent theft. Someone tries to steal it anyway, here in the land of the big macho truck. The owner, obviously ex-military with a haircut to prove it, freaks out. Gets the guy across the street to help him put a camera and light up on the phone pole. It doesn't work, so he built a little tower in his front yard with a light to illuminate the monster truck. And if that isn't enough, he puts a light on the front bumper, with a motion sensor. I know this because sometimes I park in front of him and if I go to my car when it's dark, it sets off the flashing light. 

If somebody did manage to steal the Big Red Truck, what would they do with it? Cops would see it a mile away. Stripped for parts? Wouldn't be worth the bother. The value is in the image. which screams for attention. 

It's pretty difficult to not want to analyze this guy and his obsession. 

It's not like he uses the truck to carry things. In the words of "Leave it to Beaver" Cleaver, it makes him feel like a big-shot. Of course there's a lot of competition in that arena. Denver is teeming with men driving big show-off pickups. When this was still the Old Wild West, they had to be content with horses, which are pretty much all the same size, give or take a few inches. So I guess it was the guns that fed the big-shot macho ego. 

This big red truck is driving the man nuts. Is it worth it? Is this a case of You Are What You Have? Or in pre-PC speak, "Is a man his stuff?" 

He has a garage, which of course is too small to fit the Big Truck. A professional job of modifying the garage might cost nearly or as much as another truck, and even if his carpentry skills were up to the task of doing it himself, it would be an all-consuming project. So what next? 

The guy next door with the Big Red Truck came by to inform me that the four video cameras, two on the phone pole across the street and the two on the four-by-four tower in his yard, all with lights fixed on the object of his obsession, have failed. Maybe it was the big rain, and hailstorm that came with it the other day. No one can complain that this end of the street is not well lit. He believes there is a "crime ring" operating in the general area, obviously intending by-hook-or-crook to get his fabulous Big Red Truck. Interesting, more or less because this is a multi-racial working class neighborhood. Other than the big red truck, the only visible things on the block worth stealing are the guy across the street's collection of vehicles, either hidden in a garage or behind a locked gate. I was also informed that the cops did not give much of a shit about potential vehicle thefts, that his problem is "way down the list" of police concerns, and that if the truck was stolen his chances of getting it back were pretty slim.

AVA comments: "Those trucks and the morons who drive them are everywhere. Trumpers to a man, and get ready for fascism when the assholes mobilize."

Neighbor with the Big Red Truck has something new to fear. Last night someone shot the windows out of a car quite near where he keeps the truck. Local pawn shop eliminated their music department to make room for more guns. It's still the Wild West. I had to wait until morning to learn that Big Truck guy had not been shooting at would-be thieves (my first thought).

2 Responses to "The Big Red Truck"

  1. George Hollister   June 9, 2018 at 10:33 am

    “When this was still the Old Wild West, they had to be content with horses, which are pretty much all the same size, give or take a few inches.”

    There were those back then who placed their image with their horse. How fast that horse was, was a big deal to many, and what it looked like was, too. This behavior is in the genes. Most out grow it.

  2. izzy   June 10, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    “This behavior is in the genes. Most out grow it.”

    One would hope. But in a country of about 350 million, there are still many who don’t manage that final growth spurt.

    My truck is only as big as it needs to be.


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